I have 6 sisters. 4 of them are not really in mom's life at all. 2 of them call her on the phone every day for like 5 minute chats. Mom is 86 years old with dementia stage 5.

Both of the two that call her just don't get the fact that they should not be sharing bad news with mom and that they should keep their conversations positive with her. They still run to mommy to complain about their own lives, stresses and worries. I am the one that deals with the fall out when they cause her to obsess about them and their problems.

One of them told ma this week about a friend who has cancer. All week my mom has been crying and upset about this. She doesn't know the girl any more - she did know her DECADES ago.

Hearing this news has also caused her to remember people she lost over the years to cancer and now she is crying about all of her lost loves ones.

I have begged and pleaded with them not to do this and they just don't stop!

I have mom in my home and am with her 24/7 and I HIDE the bad from her and try to only share positive things (even if i have to make up positive things to share because life isn't exactly full of them right now!) And they can't hide the bad news from her for a 5 minute phone call????

Of course I don't want to try to stop mom from talking to her daughters (not that i could if I wanted to) but I don't want them bringing all of this sadness into mom's (and my) life. Any suggestions on how to stop this madness????

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I agree to explaining to your sisters that your mother can be *disproportionately* upset by news such as that about their friend, ideally getting them to witness it, and that they therefore need to have a care about what they tell her and how they phrase it. But I also agree that you can't, even if you wanted to, shield your mother from all the world's sadness. It won't hurt her, even, to reflect on her own losses, which are as much a part of her life and memories as the joys are - as long, of course, as the grief doesn't come to dominate her thinking.
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I think the three of you need to sit down together and review what happens.
Really sit down, face to face, not via text, which is easily misinterpreted. Get a referee relative if you can. Sort it out on a regular basis at least monthly.
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My mantra, since my mom entered her 80s has been, don't tell mom any story that doesn't have a happy ending...or some ending.

I would try discussing this with your sisters, gently. Maybe ask them to watch Teepa Snow videos. But if they are narcissistic and not too bright, they may never get it.
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Have you tried to discuss this with your sisters? How about an email detailing mom's reactions after she gets off the phone? Maybe if you tell your sisters that they are upsetting your mom they'll stop with the drama.
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There is nothing you can or should do about this. Your siblings have no clue what it's like taking care of your mom, and won't ever understand what you are trying to tell them. They'll probably keep unloading their crap on mom up to when she's in a coma. Your job is to get the support you need so you can handle mom's moods when they leave her in that state and that's where you need to put your energy.
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