I just couldn’t come up with a sensible subject line, sorry.
I’ve shared my health issues, physical limitations, with my sons, the sick spouse’s demands on me, taking care of my sicker spouse. I have one artificial hip, other painful, birth defect and arthritis. I am Early diabetic as well, prone to dangerous low blood sugar, control my early type 2 diabetes with strict carb limits. But when I go low, I go dangerously low, get disoriented, dizzy, very sick. I am not aware when it’s happening, until I get into trouble. I walk with a cane when outside home, for stability. I am on supplemental oxygen for lung disease. I have a small portable oxygen concentrator for outside the home. Travel is getting very difficult, all sons and grandchildren live in other states. Just a rest stop, carrying oxygen, walking with cane, bathroom pit stop, checking blood sugar, fixing myself a snack as needed, is exhausting.
A couple months ago, a granddaughter wanted me to go see her senior year high school musical, in which she had the lead. I was torn between flying, with the oxygen concentrator batteries cost wreaking havoc with our limited income, at $500 each battery. I own two batteries, but would need two more to fly, as there are no direct flights. Plus rental car when I arrived. Very expensive. So, one son drove up from FL to ride with me, used my car and my gas to continue on to visit my granddaughter. 13-14 hours driving is almost more than I can do, but can’t afford the hotel rooms to break the trip up into 2 days each way. Plus, it takes me away too long, from my already sick spouse, forcing him to do pet care in my absence. I told my son, no problem to ride together, if he wanted to go hunting. My trip was about my granddaughter, and my youngest son, whom I stayed with, nobody else this occasion. Middle son from FL wanted to take along his live in girlfriend. I said no, that I wasn’t providing them free vacation, the trip was for my granddaughter, no girlfriends. It was only five days away from his current lady love.
Long story short, he made up some story about locking his keys in his truck, in my driveway the morning after we arrived in Ohio. Ended up, a bad lie, she had booked a flight one way, to the Ohio destination less than 8 hours after we got there, and they had their vacation anyhow, staying with his father, and using his truck to get around. The original plan was, if he got a deer, He and I would be driving his hunting gear and cooler of deer meat back to my GA home, where he would load up his truck, and continue home to FL. They had secretly planned the ruse all along, the keys were not locked in the truck at all. My spouse checked inside, through the windows. I do not travel well, being on oxygen, walking with a cane, and then handling hourly blood sugar checks and the lows I get when traveling, no matter how much I plan for it. If I got sick or had car trouble, I did not want to be responsible for yet another person. Son thought I would just have to suck it up and drive 13-14 hours with the latest girlfriend anyhow, despite me saying no to the request prior to the trip. I was so disgusted, I cut my trip short by a day and drove back home alone. Figured since they both disrespected me by flying her up anyhow, they could just figure out how to get back to FL. Big boy and big girl, solidly middle-aged, at least chronologically. So disrespectful of his sick mother. And good thing I hurried back, as spouse’s health quickly declined that week.
Do others have these kinds of family members, disrespectful of your limitations, your own feelings, the demands you are already shouldering?