Does a resident family member (with POA) have to pay nursing home, when resident can't?

Yup, Elder attorney is the way to go, no doubt. You can't blame the NH for wanting to be paid. If not Medicare, then it has to come from somewhere. They are not a charity, and have bills to meet just as we do. They are not obligated to keep your mom without pay. But, along the same lines, as Jeannie says, if you did not sign anything, then they can't hold you responsible for the bills. If you did sign something when you put your mom into the NH, perhaps as a backup if you're mom can't pay, then you could be held responsible for the bills. So best to talk to an Elder Care attorney on behalf of your mom as her POA. The fee might be able to, ultimately, come from the proceeds of the sale of the house, since attaining the services of an attorney for your mom can be counted as being used for her benefit.

I agree with consulting an elder law attorney. I've been working with one and they are great as they know all those Medicaid rules .

Nursing homes expect and need to get paid, and demand assurances that that will happen.

You can own a home and still apply for Medicaid. Who told you that you have to wait until it is sold?

What other assets need to be spent down? Is there enough to private-pay while waiting for Medicaid?

Unless you signed something making you responsible you do not need to pay the nursing home out of your own funds. But they don't have to keep the resident indefinitely without getting paid. How long has the resident been there?

How certain are you that the house will sell reasonably soon? How confident are you about the price? How many months of NH costs can be paid with the equity you expect from the sale?

I wonder if it might be worthwhile to consult an elder law attorney to get you started on the Medicaid application process and advise you on options for dealing with the NH in the meanwhile.