The family member is due to have another appointment with the memory specialist soon and is saying they will not attend this appointment.
The family member has been observed leaving the oven on in their apartment, answering the door dressed inappropriately, not knowing the day of the week (a clock on the wall, including the day, date and time of day - i.e. - sunrise, dusk... is there for use), having great confusion when it comes to understanding or sensing time in general, and they are at great risk for falling. A fall happened recently while trying to put a pizza in the oven while talking on the phone. A fall hospitalized the family member two years ago. I could go on but suffice to say we, the family, that does all the paperwork, shopping, cleaning, driving (for outings and appointments), laundry and some cooking, all of whom work, with one unable to do so...
What can we do at this point to have the family member be in a safer situation? The need for 24-hour care is coming, if it's not already here.
Our family member has thrown out every aide that has been hired. What do we do or can we do in order to prepare for the time when the family member needs to have complete care?
Our family member lives on a very modest income, so an Active Living Community isn't feasible, nor do we, the family, know if it's even appropriate for the member's level of dementia.
Help! What can we do now to prepare for what's coming?
This family member SHOULD NOT be living by themselves now, as they are not only a danger to themselves but to others as well.
What it is going to take before some action is taken....this person burning the building down because they left the stove or oven on?
You now have to do what is best for this family member to keep them safe. Period, end of sentence.
It really doesn't matter anymore what they want or don't want, it now boils down to what is best for them and their safety, and you already know that means getting them placed in a facility.
I wish you well or APS well in finding the right facility for your family member.
And let's say this person has capable family members.
It's a hard learning curve, but start contacting ever agency and their cousin PRONTO. What's coming is NOW. When the back rooms of the house is on fire don't start asking - Should we wait 'till the fire gets to the door of the living room, and then what should we do? You'll be in utter chaos by then.
Go to the Active Living Community, the hospital, Aging Adult Services, the doctor, a Caregiver's support group or/and whatever agency that will give you resources.
This will tell you what level of care your loved one needs.
Unfortunately, unless they have been deemed legally incompetent nobody can do much to help they have rights, even if it is not optimal. You have to wait for a crisis that forces change.
The counsel will report the situation to APS if she is a danger to herself or obvious signs of self neglect. This could result in emergency guardianship or services for in home help, totally dependent on the situation.
Best of luck, these situations are challenging.
With inept government (and their) indiscriminate cruel cuts for elders and disabled, among many others in need, we do not know what is available anymore. You will need to research all avenues of financial / placement support. If you can, hire an ind medical social worker to help you through the process.
* Ask your loved one's MD for referrals (government agencies).
* Ask for volunteers (college / high school) kids - they need this work experience (on their resume) ... focus on nursing, counseling, geriatrics, health majors.
* Contact your local church(es) and ask for support.
Gena / Touch Matters
While this can be discussed with other members of the family there should be ONE person that is the final decision maker.
This is the POA or if your family member has been determined by an Attorney that they do not understand what is being asked you will need to have someone designated at the Guardian. This is a legal process. Not easy and there is paperwork involved as well as time.
Next you begin the process of applying for Medicaid if that is necessary.
You also figure out if this person has any benefits they are due from Military Service if they are a Veteran.
You also find out if your area has a Senior Service Center that may be aware of programs that can help.
Then you consider the Pro's and Con's of
Facility care VS Home care.
If you determine that facility care is better financially you begin the process of selling the house.
NO family member should be dipping into their savings to help this person out.
NO family member should be quitting their job to care for this person UNLESS they will be paid to do so.
NO family member should leave their family to move in with this person.
IF a family member chooses to provide care they should have a Caregiver Contract and should be compensated for their work. And if this happens they should be able to say when they can no longer care for this person.
Your Famijy Member Requires memory care since it’s no longer possible for this person to live unsupervised. Requires care 24/7.
You can also ask staff of other ruses that will work. They are very familiar with it.
She will be mad. Do not visit her for about 2 to 3 weeks. Again ask the staff for support here.
See All Answers