Hi everyone, I could REALLY use some advice. I'm in a very difficult situation and facing a decision I don't know how to make on my own. My mother is 65, has mild-moderate dementia from alcohol abuse which manifests as absolutely no short-term memory, cannot learn new skills, confabulates and becomes disoriented when she leaves her house. She stopped drinking after being hospitalized. She cannot drive due to peripheral vision loss (I believe she has also had small strokes), but is still mostly independent - can clean her house, make her own meals, care for herself and her small dog, etc. We have an extremely troubled relationship - I'm an only child, she isn't married, and she has emotional issues including borderline personality disorder, social avoidance, agoraphobia, depression, etc. Over the years she pushed away all of her friends and most of family members, leaving me and a handful of others to care for her; she refuses psychiatric and most medical help, and is extremely stubborn. Not only do we not get along, I find it traumatic to be around her too long. Since all of these memory issues began about three years ago, I have become her power of attorney and taken over all of her finances (they were a total mess) and I order her grocery deliveries for her weekly. I live out of state, so I visit every few months and take her to doctor's appointments, out to eat, etc. She is on a very fixed budget - small monthly check from social security because she had to retire early, and supplements with monthly withdrawals from her 401k/IRA, which is under $90,000 and needs to last her the rest of her life. She owns her home (3BR /2BA, not very high value), and between that asset and the savings cannot qualify for Medicaid, so there is no financial assistance that I know of. So, I've worked hard to get her finances stabilized and make this situation work for us both until her dementia escalates and she needs to be placed in an assisted living or memory care facility, which I feel is probably inevitable. It's a crappy situation, but it's mostly stable. Here's where the current issue begins: my cousin, who has always had a good relationship with my mother, is planting the idea in my mom's head that she should sell her house and buy a new house 45 minutes away from where she currently lives, so she can be closer to her. In theory I like the idea of her being closer to someone she actually gets along with, who can help with doctor visits, give her some company, etc. However, I think the idea of a 65-year-old woman who is mentally unwell and suffering from dementia and lives alone *buying a new house* in a strange place, with virtually no money to spare is not only terrible, but impossible. Worse, my mom is now *obsessed* with the idea and texts me about it constantly. Financially speaking, I HAVE to plan for the possibility of her living 20+ more years, and I cannot allow her to sink what little savings she has into a down payment on a new house. I'm just trying to be financially responsible in a situation where there is literally no one else to do it. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Entertain the idea? Look for a rental instead? Call my cousin and explain to her why it can't work and politely ask her to stop interfering in a situation she doesn't know a whole lot about? Is there a way financially this could make sense? I have NO idea...I'm certainly no financial expert, but the idea of it scares me a lot. Believe me, I would welcome someone else sharing the load of caring for my mother. But is it unfair to feel like my role in this situation is being undermined? I feel like they are conspiring behind my back without even a fragment of an understanding of a) her finances or b) the severity of her mental problems, and I have no idea how to speak to anyone about this. I know I've just written a novel, but I feel helpless in an increasingly problematic and quickly escalating situation, and could use ANY advice you may have. Thank you so much.