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What amount? The sons of dementia patient are questioning the amount. The mother needs 24 x 7 care. Cooking, provisions for the house, feeding, daily medication, cleaning of the home, and bathing.

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I know what full time care costs here in Tucson. It is 3-4 licensed and trained people, per 24 hours and it is $11,000 a month.

I do not expect relatives to take care of Mother for free. You couldn't pay me enough. And if I had to live there, they better pay me more.

A live in relative needs a working wage, which others say is $15.00 per hour, plus your insurance and your social security. Because, how are you going to take care of yourself, when you are elderly?
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I firmly believe that caregivers should get paid. Especially when there are other kids who are not helping -- why should one do all the sacrificing? Getting paid helps even things out a bit.

Make it official, with a written agreement. Pay taxes on it. It is real work and should be treated as such.

Price it out in your area, but also take into consideration what Mom can afford.
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Tell the opposing parties to put the numbers on paper, price it out in your area.
Here's the problem: If she needs a nursing home with Medicaid, every penny has to be accounted for. If there is no contract and wages are not reported, there are tax problems and Medicaid will not pay for care.
Lots of legal potholes and pitfalls when there is no written agreement.
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The son is living there rent free, not paying utilities or for food? Why does he need additional funds? Sorry, I am in the opposite camp when it comes to family being paid to take care of loved ones. What kind of caregiving skills does he have? If he is only there for the free ride and some kind of payment; Mom would be better off in assisted living or nursing home getting professional assistance.

I can't even begin to tell you how I feel about "family" seeking payment for taking care of their so called "love ones". Sorry if this comes off harsh but some things are just not right in my book.
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A big question is if your mother is competent to say yes or no. If she is legally competent, she will need to make the decision to pay someone. A caregiver contract can be drawn up that states what each side will provide. If you foresee Medicaid in your mother's future, you will want to consult with an elder care attorney about the contract to make sure that it will not be seen as gifting by your state. It is best to do everything right, rather than deal with problems later.

If your mother is not legally competent, did she grant a DPOA to someone before becoming incompetent? If so, the DPOA can act as an agent to your mother to carry out what he/she believes the mother's wishes would be.

I personally believe that family caregivers deserve to be paid when possible. The amount depends on what services are being done and if they live in their parent's house. It would be hard to say how much without knowing these things, plus where the person lives. A dollar in Alabama is a lot more than one in NY.
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