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I know my mother wasn't checked out of the nursing home (in Illinois) against her will, she just didn't want to be there and saying she can't afford it as an excuse and my brother and sister in law checked her out of the nursing home. My sister in law (brother and sister in law live close by) is arranging for caregivers to visit but sometimes she's left alone for a few hours until the caregiver arrives and I'm just wondering if something did happen to her when she's by herself, that my brother or sister in law or say in my case that I didn't report it to anyone that she's being left home alone sometimes and something happens to her that my brother and sister in law could be held responsible. Or if I visit her (I live in Iowa) and something happens and it's found out that she's been left home alone sometimes, that we could all be held responsible for her accident or God forbid death.

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rhonda50, it's been 6 days and we haven't heard back from you. Hope everything is ok.
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This type of question is common - if a person who had not been declared incompetent uses their "rights" to make unwise decisions, then why should anyone else be held responsible? If they are considered competent to make a decision they made then they should own the consequences, in my opinion. Completely unfair to hold anyone else responsible when they had no power in the matter.
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rhonda50, could you give us a bit more information, such what are the medical issues with your Mom. And why was she placed in a nursing home, or was the place an Assisted Living?

Mom's excuse that she could no longer afford the nursing home tells me she's not familiar with Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. If Mom can be accepted by Medicaid then Medicaid would pay for her care.

During what time frame is your Mom left alone? Apparently your brother and his wife feel your Mom would be ok during that time. My Dad, who was a fall risk, use to have around the clock caregivers, but it became very expensive, like $20k per month where he lived. So Dad said he could manage over night without help. So we tried it, and he did ok for awhile.
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Rhonda50, just know you are not alone in this one. My mother was discharged last night from a nursing home and the CNA that took my mother out to the car seemed to be under the impression that we were going to have care for her during the day. I have stated to workers at the home from the get go that my husband and I work during the day and there is no way that I can quit because I'm now helping to pay my parent's way until I can get things in order....very long story. Mine goes so much further, but being held responsible at this point would just be about the breaking point for me.
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First thought here is: you need more facts. Hard to know for certain because you are not in the same city or state. This kind of issue is hard to manage even when all the family either live in the same city or have been living in same city for a decade, for example. I presume it is a one-day drive each way, but totally understand each visit costs money and it could take 10 visits, for example, to understand what has changed and why. If phone calls work, then great, but in-person visual communication is better as long as that does not bring more stress to all, and comes with the best of intentions. Enjoy the weekend.
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