Hi. My situation is kind of a messy one. I'm 33 and I recently relocated to help my grandparents with everything from long term care to daily care to selling their business. I have taken on much more than I care to, but I am taking steps to gradually transition out of so much responsibility. Before you ask, mom and dad are dead, so it's just me and my younger brothers who refuse to help, yet they get at least partially supported by my grandparents, not sure how much though, but I digress.
Long story short, I needed some help dealing with the minutiae of consolidating their bills and debts, getting the proper access and passwords to the credit cards etc that they have only recently neglected to pay due to the onset of dementia. So I asked a brother to help.
Well, he did help in getting this info during a visit and we set up an email address from which to pay all their bills, and also stored here was a master list of any passwords and personal info we might need in the future.
The day he returned home, he changed that password and locked not only me (I am the one taking care of them daily) but my grandparents out of their own banking info etc., and no one can get in touch with him, bills are running out of control and meanwhile our grandparents slip further into senility simply due to the stress of being betrayed and the complexity of regaining control of their finances.
We're getting together next week to talk about it, and my thought is to contact their creditors and bank and have the cards frozen or cancelled and change their bank account, as well as have credit monitoring and alerts activated from all 3 bureaus.
Is this enough? We can't afford to hurt their credit more than a few points, but at the end of the day the fraud has to stop regardless of the cost to their score. Any advice?? Thank you!
Then as other posters have said, you need to contact the police because this is a crime against the elderly.
I don’t know about others on here but Elderly Affairs did nothing to help in my situation after repeated calls & proof that my sibling was writing checks to himself for cash.
If your parents get social security contact them so you can be set up as a representative payee.
Wishing you all the best.
I'm wondering why you're worried about their credit rating? How will a bad credit rating impact them?
You need you need to bring in whatever authorities are available immediately, you need a financial power of attorney, you need to not worry about your grandparents credit score and be concerned about your dishonest sibling. Without knowing the family history its best to limit the other advice, but these are the very first urgently needed steps you should take. Immediately!
Just don't wait on this because it sounds like your brother is moving very very quickly to destroy all the assets.
Who has Power of Attorney, get it, ASAP
Contact Elder Abuse
Don’t tell you brother one thing! Too late to meet. Too late to talk.
As a 11 year caregiver for my mom who is 93 I know what it is to have a selfish piss-poor brother. It turns my stomach thinking how greedy and self contained they are. I could write a book about the unseen horrors of this station in life.
But contact the Banks IMMEDIATELY ! Don't wait ! !
Good luck.
Willpower,
Maybe there is some 'techy' thing you can do to regain access to the online information. When you cannot login to the accounts, click on "cannot remember my password".
What your brother is doing is criminal and he needs to be prosecuted, nothing to talk about or discuss. The longer it takes anyone to act the more money that is gone, never to be recovered. This will hurt their eligibility for assistance if it is not dealt with through the authorities.
Then I would first call each credit card Co and tell them the card is lost and to please send another, if you want another.
For the Bank Account, I would contact the Bank and change the Account #. You will need to bring in the person on the Account.
Then just set up Auto Bill pay with all the main things like Utilities, ect.
The auto bill pay can come out of the Bank Act or charged to a Credit Card.