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She is going on year 3 having dementia and has never had a follow-up done of any kind concerning it. Seems like all she talks about is to do with an issue of negativity. In one weeks time she called the police on me twice. One time was because of Me not giving my granddaughter her nose spray. And then that same week she filed a PFA on me!

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Anne123 said it best! It is extremely lonely as a caregiver. My mom does VERY well in front of people and I'm sure they think I'm making up that she has Dementia! They aren't around to help answer the same questions over and over,stand over her to make sure she swallows her meds,deal with her Sundowning. Geez....I'm really lonely even with a house full of people.
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Typically, family members don't WANT to believe that a loved one has dementia. This us why they will refuse to believe/accept it until they have personally experienced seeing it acted out before their very eyes. This phenomenon is one of the things that makes dementia caregiving so difficult and lonely for certain caregivers. You will never "convince" a family member or friend that someone has dementia. It really is a waste of energy to try. Just focus on collaborating with the medical team helping you.
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Yes, it is easy to imagine that a horse is just a horse until you notice the horn sprouting from its head. You can take a picture, but just get the excuse that it was photoshopped from your own imagination. It's not until they see the horn themselves that they believe.
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JessieBelle - before things came to a head with my brother we went through a similar thing. On a few occasions I would try to tell him of things my mom did indicating dementia - my brother would give me the same sort of reply that your brother gave you. Then on a couple of occasion he would visit or call and experience something bizarre - he would call me totally panicked and freaked out as if mom grew wings and flew around the room before his eyes. Yet he was still able to later ignore or convince himself otherwise. Ya just gotta laugh.
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My brother's response used to be "old folks do that." He said that up to the day my father died. It seemed to take him by surprise that he had really died. My brother lived across the country, so was remote.

He and his wife did the same with my mother. One time when they were visiting and she started telling a story over again, it suddenly dawned on them that something was amiss. I could see the light of understanding come into their eyes all at once. My SIL looked at me and I simply responded to my mother's story with the same words I had used just moments before.

Now I think they know that things are different here, and it's not just "old folks do that." I haven't hear those words since the day they heard for themselves.
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My mother was doing some pretty extreme things - had been for a while. Yet my brother could not accept that it was dementia. At one point mom was laying down on the floor in her room at the NH on a daily - sometimes twice daily basis claiming she fell. Mom had it in her head that I would think the NH unsafe and bring her home to live with me. I knew what she was doing, the NH knew - we had both caught her in the act. When I tryed to talk to my brother about it he said " I just don't believe that. No one in their right mind does that". Ummm - duh. Then he said "I won't believe it until I see it on paper". So I took mom to a Geriatric Psychitrist and got it in writing.
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