My FIL is currently in rehab at a nursing home and is continuting his controlling behavior and limited cooperation but what we thought was just simple concidence before we are learning is minipulative behavior.
When he was at his home, he had visiting nurses, an additional caregiver and others that would help him in addition to my husband. He would always be so sweet to them, give them extra money, etc. When my husband would come to help him, he would yell, scream, throw food across the room, call us within 10 minutes of leaving to come back and the list goes on.
Everytime we have mentioned his behavior to any worker, they have responded, "wow, this is just so out of character for him because he is so sweet. He always talks about how great a job his son has, his granddaughter, etc. I guess he is just really having a bad day."
When he put a gun to his stomach and threated to kill himself, it was in front of my husband and when we told visiting nurses, he was linked up to Hospice (way too soon and they are now no longer on his case). When my husband was 7 minutes late, he cut himself on the stomach with a knife. Again, dismissed by nurses as just felling bad.
After he requested a non-resusicate order be kept at his home, he then insisted to go to the hospital for help. After hearing from the family, they brought in a psycharist and kept him one week to evulate. According to the professionals, he is depressed, paranoid and has a touch of dementia. They also seen a few small strokes on an MRI. He is 86, so they said it was nothing too alarming.
He is now in rehab and does the same pattern of behavior. Calls my husband and yells and demands he come to the nursing home to pull him up in bed or take him to the bathroom.
The last straw was Sunday when he called and hung up, then called again yelling that he needed him to come right then, then hung up and called immediately back to make certain he was on his way. We called the nurses desk to ask what was wrong and they said he just wanted to be pulled up in bed.
One nurse said she didn't even hear him call, that he is just so sweet and only sings the praises of his family.
We feel he fully knows what he is doing to play more of the "victim." He has done things like this for years long before he was elderly. Does anyone else experience this behavior? I feel like it is just a form of evilness.
He is telling my husband that when he gets out that 4 trips a day to his house just wasn't enough and he needs to do more. We are trying to find a way to be done with all of it.