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I'm the eldest, single child (of 4), parents age 82. Asked 3x for basic info "just in case". Not about $. No one else has asked. No answer. HELP. We have deep history of dysfunction w/in family. I'm being treated for PTSD for emotional abuse. I have liver disease and have had a transplant, but have complications. My other sibs are married and have never asked. Just a phone #. I just want to be prepared, but I a) refuse to be default on this by sibs b) am unwell myself and could not take care of them need be c) only response from parents is that I'm "silly", or my mother said 2x she'll outlive me anyway d)i'm given a blank look while they walk off the field. What do I do. Whole family knows that physically and emotionally I am completely unable to care for them. That being said, I cannot or will not be the fall guy should an accident happen. My motive is practicality and an attempt to avoid any situation that cld have been avoided or planned for, ESP to protect myself. I would think parents would want to make this as easy as they could for their children. Question a) is the withholding of this info abusive b) what do I can I do c) do I need to document this to protect myself legally should this happen.

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82 is not necessarily one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel. Are they fairly healthy, or are they infirm. My dad was an unhealthy individual who died unexpectedly at 75, my mom on the other hand - well I struggle to keep up with her at 88, she may very well outlive me.

If you have had emotional abuse SO BADLY that you are being treated for post traumatic stress disorder, then I would think that it would be an easy decision for you to walk away. Don't look for problems where none exist.

No, it is not abuse for them to keep their problems or their information to themselves. They may be protecting YOU, knowing your medical history. Just because you are the eldest doesn't mean that anyone expects you to be an automatic caregiver. Fortunately your whole family already knows that you cannot be the caregiver, so it's out of your hands anyway.

Calm down. Take a deep breath. Your siblings will step up when the need arises, but they sense that there isn't a need yet. I repeat, don't go looking for things to worry about. Just take care of yourself. If by living at home, you mean that you live with your parents, perhaps you should find a home of your own, where you aren't right there in the midst of things.

This is just my opinion. Good luck and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
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Iola, do you live with your parents? Are you their POA or guardian? In what way do you need to protect yourself?

If your parents have an emergency, you don't NEED to respond.
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