So, since I live in one state (three hours away) and my mom and sister who is in her late 40s (and still lives at home) are the ones in the same city as my father. However, during all of the times my Dad has been hospitalized, my sister has never took the initiative to go and see him. My mom doesn't drive (major deduction), but thank goodness, there's public transport available in her area as she must go see him everyday b/c my sister works during the day; however, my sister can give Mom a break at night on her way home (mom has to take two buses home). Mom complains that my sister takes the long route home; however, I told Mom to stop being so stubborn and have my older sister drive her and pick her up at night.
My older sister had to be spoken to by my father's best friend (who lost his wife due to a massive heart attack last year) and tell my sister to please stop being fearful of the hospital and to please go and see him. I was there this past summer and helping my Mom get around for 9 days straight while he was in there during the summer.
So, my sister said b/c he was on medication on Saturday, she wasn't going to go and visit him; however, he was alert on Sunday; however, she didn't take the initiative to go and visit him and it burned me up. She is only 3 years older than me and she's been doing this stunt for as long as I can remember. My mom had part of her lung removed in 2009 and she was in the hospital for two weeks and not once did my sister take the initiative to go and see her. I find my sister is being extremely mean and selfish and it makes her look very bad because the word is spreading around town. My sister has this huge fear that b/c we've lost 7 friends/family members in 2012, and these people went into the hospital and never came out, she thinks Dad will be the sameway. I am way beyond angry and I broke down yesterday and sobbed b/c I didn't tell my companion how sick my father has been. Dad has to go through radiation to see if it's cancer - so that's another burden on me to deal with.
I don't like the way the operation is going and I'm trying to get a report each night about Dad but my sister doesn't e-mail me much unless I reach out to her and when I call Mom after 7pm, she doesn't have much time to speak to me b/c she is so tired and then my sister is in her room in her own world.
I am so angry and upset w/my family that I don't feel like bothering with them at this moment. I do try and get through to my father; however, he can't stay on the phone long just in case his roommate's family is trying to call.
I don't know what to do at this moment, but I have been in tears for the past two days and I wish I could find a way to have my sister stop being so selfish and thoughtless and for my mother to accept Tracy picking her up everynight from her visits to my father.
I asked my sister one time if she were the one very ill in the hospital, how would she feel if Dad never came to see her - Dad would be made to be a very selfish and unkind man.
My sister helps Mom with the housecleaning and getting groceries and stuff; however, Mom is still making her lunches for work (my sister is in her late 40's - this is ridiculous and my sister pays Mom for her "services"). Isn't it about time that my sister moves out of the house?
This is a huge mess and there's nothing I can about it because I'm in another state, but I remember this happened to my late grandfather. He got very ill (he was 89 at the time) and lived 12 hours away by car from us. He had 4 sons and a daughter plus over 20 grandchildren who were over the age of 20 in the same area but no one was helping out. My mom had just retired and spent three months in his town caring for him - that was a mean thing her siblings did - it's the same thing all over again.
Can someone please read this and provide advice? Thank you.