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I am writing on behalf of my husband today. 4 years ago his parents were in an accident. His father passed and his mother survived with a traumatic brain injury. At the time there were no family members to take upon the task of power of attorney. My husband left college to come home and get her through the process, and get her home. After months and months of care facilities costing $$$$, he was able to get her into her house he was in before the accident. She had to have 24/7 care givers as she is a fall risk upon other needs as well. She has 3 siblings that live 2500 miles away and were never there for any part of this process (icu,care facilities,funeral). They have always questioned my husband about money and where its going. They had a double mortgage on their house and the siblings were worried about that. So my husband sold her house and got rid of the payments as they were worried. He then purchased a home that we both moved into with her so we can help take care of her. we slowly took away home health care at her siblings request as they said we shouldn't spend the money. I was working full time and my husband was taking care of her as I would every moment I wasn't working. About 10 months ago the siblings decided they wanted to come after us for the money. They sat us down and said they would put us on a salary and they would now take over the finances and leave my husband as medical power of attorney. My husband refused unless they would be willing to take on the full responsibility as power of attorney over his mother. They said that they were not in a good position to care for her but just handle her money. After my husband refusing, they threated to take us to court. They then reported us to adult protective services. Adult protective services have contacted us twice with a lot of questions and subpoenaed the bank records. We never heard anything. We also got one call from the attorney generals office asking my husband to come in for an interview in which we gave them our lawyers phone number and declined the interview. We haven't heard anything since then. About 2 weeks ago my husband wrote a resignation of power of attorney and sent that his mother. It was not an easy choice to make but felt this was the only option seeming how they have turned her away from the two of us. They responded 2 days ago demanding all assets to be returned to her .real estate,saving,checking,vehicles etc. We have none of this. In fact we still paid for her bills after we moved out of the house. We are still currently paying. We are reaching out for some help/advice on how to make this come to an end and not live in fear of these people. We were never paid/compensated for the care we provided, we were just doing the right thing for his mother.

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I will guess the cash for the house came from the mother's funds. It was a poor decision to put it in his name, that would be illegal gifting. As long as it has gone back, that is settled. You will still need to dig up the last five years of transactions to clear your name.
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When, very tragically, her husband was killed and she was thrown from the bike and suffered serious head injuries; do you mean that this couple with a mortgage on their house a) had no life insurance and b) were riding on the roads without motor insurance either?

What I'm getting at is: were they uninsured? Was a claim made and rejected because, for example, they weren't wearing suitable clothing or head protection? Or was a claim submitted and a payout made compensating for the loss of a life and life-changing injuries; in which case where's the money?
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For insurance she does have health insurance. She did not qualify for medicare because there were too many assets in her name.
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And the insurance?
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Well because of her brain injury, she just doesn't understand things fully. They have put a lot of thought into her mind. They have put into her head that we stole Money from her and that we are bad people. So right now our words mean nothing to her.
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Is your mother sufficiently competent to change the POA to her son, now that he is an adult? Basically she needs to understand the concept of appointing someone else to make decisions for her and to act on her behalf.

When her son took over acting as POA because no one else would, was that documented in writing and notarized?

I'm having a hard time understanding why the siblings have so much (or any) say in Mother's finances.
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Thank you all for your responses. Yes there is a lot more to the story I just wanted tog et the main stuff out there. So the answer more... his parents were in a motorcycle accident. His dad passed on impact and his mother flew 60 feet through the air resulting in a traumatic brain injury. At the time of the accident two of her siblings were on the list for the power of attorney. Neither one of them would take over the responsibility so my husband did. There was a lot of money that went out to get her to even walk, talk and eat again. Once she was back in her home there was the care giving there 24 hours a day as that is what she needed. Before the accident his parents took out a second mortgage and remodeled their house. There was then a very high mortgage payment. The siblings just were not okay with that. So my husband and I after long talks sold her house she was in and purchased the house she is in now in cash. There was no house payment anymore to make them happy. For a short period after the move we do have home healthcare there to get her settled in and get is prepared to take over. Then we did. My husband got his real-estate license as something to do on the side and when he was able to but that did not make him much money because it is a full time job that he was not able to fulfil with the care taking duty. Between the three of us we split all of the bills and made it even. The title to the house was in my husbands name as his mother is not competent to sign any documents. A week ago he signed over the house into her name that was at her request and we did so because we are not trying to take the house by any means. We moved out of the house last May when all of this started to happen and have took over making the payments of hoa,water,electric,gas,phone,cable,and her storage units. We will soon be shutting those off as we are not willing to continue being put through this any longer. As far as denying an interview with the attorney general, we really didnt know what to expect in there and didn't want any words to be twisted around or anything like that. After speaking with other family members we thought it was best to just give our lawyers number. Our layer has told us there is nothing to worry about and there is really nothing he can do unless there is a court date or if we have warrants out in which we do not have.I hope this answers a little more.
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Get a lawyer!
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Sounds like a bunch of vultures are circling. Is Mom's health declining?
Whose name is on the title to the house? Who pays the mortgage? can you provide records to support your expences.
As CM advised gather the evidence and hand it over to a lawyer.
Is there a will? Was there a will etc in existence prior to the accident. Was Mom competent to give POA to your husband, or did he just assume it.
If you own the house yourselves and want to continue to be MIL's caregivers and accept the amount of the salary offered it might not be a bad idea long as the employment is as legal employment with things like SS payments, workmen comp etc. In addition to all that as employees you need proper time off and vacations plus Mom must pay her share of household expenses. There are a lot of expenses the siblings may not agree to pay. In this case if mom has really been turned against you then the siblings will have to assume full responsibility. Difficult situation but one that can be solved. my best guess is that the sibs feel hubby (and probably you) have been sponging off Mom for the past few years and it's time hubby got a job and supported himself. if they have never been caregivers they have no idea just what is involved.
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No insurance claim?

How did your husband come to have Power of Attorney?

What does your lawyer advise?

And why in heaven's name not accept the Attorney General's invitation? - don't tell me, on the lawyer's advice.

One more thing. How do siblings 2500 miles away turn a woman against the son and daughter in law who are in the house taking care of her?

You've given us a detailed account, but I can't help but think there are some large facts missing. I'm sorry for the trauma your husband's family has gone through, all the same. If you could clarify what's happened about money - yes, the sale of the house, but what kind of accident results in a death and a serious injury simultaneously and isn't insured? - perhaps it will be easier to understand what's going on in the aunts/uncles' heads.

Or is it just that your husband is very young and they don't trust him to cope?
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Get your own attorney, but first dig up the financial records proving where all the money went. My guess is they need to put her on Medicaid, and Medicaid will want five years of records, bank statements, cancelled checks and tax returns.
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