I am a live in caregiver to my grandmother, and my aunt has both POA and med proxy. She handles all the finances and whatnot for my grandmother while I do the day-to-day stuff.
Ever since this pandemic started, my aunt and I have been bickering, arguing and fighting almost constantly. We never had a good relationship to begin with, and the only reason I am doing this is because my grandmother was always there for me, so now it is my turn to be there for my grandma.
A lot of bad things have happened in our family recently in a fairly short amount of time: my aunt fell and sustained a major leg injury that she is still reeling from, then COVID19 which took our grandfather, my grandmother not only got COVID but also suffered some complications from this and now my cousin is having health issues which has my aunt in a panic, naturally.
There is no doubt that my aunt is overwhelmed, who wouldn't be. "Stressed out" would be a gross understatement. Not to mention being in pain from her injury, that would put anyone in a foul mood. With everything in mind, I can understand why she is snapping, but lately it's gone far beyond that. She criticizes everything I do and say, and she gets really nasty about it. Nothing makes her happy anymore and truth be told, I'm getting really sick of her treating me like dirt on her shoes.
She's been less of a family member lately and become more of a bad boss towards me. The relationship has gone from bad to downright toxic and we don't really communicate anymore. That might be part of the issue, because who wants to communicate willingly with an a*hole.
Note: moving out is not an option because my aunt will not place grandma in a nursing home. Supposedly there is "no money left" for that, and I won't abandon my grandmother, so here we are.
So the question I pose is this: how do you deal with difficult family members who seem to fight you at every turn?