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My family feels that mom should move in with me at this point. She lives in a independent living facility in another state.

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Thank you Sunnygirl. Yes, she would have constant supervision, my husband is a retired nurse and if needed we can bring someone in to help. I am sure this is will be extremely hard but options are limited....I by no means (I say that now) would have my mom in a full care facility unless it was in her best interest. Right now she is not too bad and fun to be around!
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I would read a lot and talk a lot to people who can prepare you for what to expect as her condition progresses. There are many things to consider. It's not just memory and confusion. It can also involve serious sleep disorders where she may be up all night or she could wander from the house. There are also eventual loss of mobility. Could you lift her if necessary? And she may not be able to go on trips to the beach or even out in public indefinitely, due to mobility issues or fear, confusion or agitation. Is your house wheelchair accessible, with safety features in the bathroom? I'd think it through, before taking on that responsibility. It requires constant supervision. Could you get help to come in to your home?

I'd also read a lot of posts on this site, written by family members who took a loved one into their home care for them as their dementia progressed. They are usually very stressed, exhausted and heartbroken. It's extremely stressful.

I hope you can find some answers that help you in your decision.
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Jules, before you have your Mom move in with you on a regular basis, study up on Dementia and the issues it will present.   Then see if you think moving her from Independent Living is in HER best interest.

Please note, when an elder who has dementia is asking to go home, the home that elder is talking about is her childhood home, not the previous home where she had lived.

Go to the bottom of this page to the blue area.   On the far left you will see ALZHEIMER'S CARE, click on that.   Now goes through all the articles, many of the articles are interchangeable between Dementia and Alzheimer's.

As mentioned by other writers, moving Mom from one area to another every 6 months is not good for someone who has dementia.   The slightest change in environment will cause emotional upsets, and delirium. This is not an easy journey.
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Mom has been here in Florida with us for the past 5-6 months and 2 months last summer. I know she could probably be able to live as she is but going back and forth is a concern. This trip we brought her dog with her too and she loves it.
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Yes, I would love for her to live with me! I only have 2 brothers and neither of them are capable of taking care of her. My husband is a retired nurse and also loves my mother. She has been here with us in Florida, my family is in Arkansas, since October and loves it but asks on occasions "when am I going home". We continue to say Mom you are home. She still has an apartment at a wonderful independent living facility but we are moving her possessions out this weekend. She pay's over $2600 per month and is only there about 6 months out of the year she's here. Hard to answer what her needs are ...she can get her needs at her living facility but she never gets out living there. My husband and I take her a lot of different places, out to eat, to the beach, etc. Examples of her behavior: does not remember from one minute to another, one morning I was in her room (at my house) and her bed sheets were on the floor. She asked me why she didn't have sheets and she had a "accident" evidently that night and took them off and slept without any. When my daughter was visiting she was upset over the sleeping arrangement, we wanted her to stay in her room but she wanted to let my daughter stay there. She cried and screamed basically having a fit...of course she didn't remember it a few hours later. I separate her medication every week because she gets too frustrated, make every meal and make sure her cloths are clean, etc. She never puts anything in the laundry. When she is in Arkansas about the only family that visits her is my daughter and son-in-law that visit her every weekend. Sorry to go on and on but just don't know how to tell her she is staying!!!
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Dear Jules,

I know you love your mom and want to support her the best you can. A change of environment might be very hard on your mom. And also very hard on you too. I would try to have family meeting with all the siblings and your mom. Sometimes even though we want to be helpful, we don't fully understand what we are taking on. Its so easy to let anger and resentment build up, if there is not a full discussion ahead of time. This would be a big life change for you and your mom. I would also consult her doctor or social worker about how to approach your mom about his possibility.
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jules, what do YOU feel about your mother moving in with you? Why are you the chosen one? What are her needs? Are you prepared to take care of her?
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