Excuse me if anything is a little vague or I change a little "data", as I don't want relatives to find this and recognize descriptions.
This is really a rant I suppose. I am so isolated that I am just losing my mind having to keep this inside all the time.
Care receiver is wayyyyy over 80s. Hospitalization 2 yrs ago left her in need of help. I take her to all appointments, do her home care full-time (could only leave her alone for 30 mins max at a time back then). From 11pm to 6am a different family member slept nearby her in case of need to get up - that was my ONLY break-time. Therapists came to the house for a few months. Two therapists recognized I was being used like a slave without me telling them anything. One said I had to get out of this. The other said my mother doesn't want to see what she & the family are doing to me.
Slowly, mother has regained the ability to do some things, like using the toilet on her own. I can leave her for about an hour at a time - but can not leave the house. I can't even turn on the radio while I'm on-duty or I won't hear if she needs me. I cook for her from scratch. I want to provide good nutrition - and she also has demands. She's mentally with it 98% of the time.
Here's where a twist comes in. I got trapped into this situation because I had my own physical health problems/injuries and needed a way to survive after I had to quit my business (I don't qualify for disability.) I do NOT, nor have I EVER been paid for anything I do for the family. Because I have no where else to go, the family know that I am trapped here. (I do get food stamps or I wouldn't have food to eat for myself. I don't eat their food.) I have been forced to not only do this full-time caregiving for her, but she in-turn verbally threatens and calls me horrific names until I have to wait on other family members like their maid. I cook and clean for the lot of them every single day. Refusal isn't an option -I have tried reason, I have tried not doing things, it is dangerous when I don't comply. I would leave - I have no where to go - and even abuse shelters have turned me down because I'm not a mother with children escaping an abusive partner. (Not joking.)
Some history: the family is abusive. One of the ones I have to wait on threatens me physically every once in a long while. Not often, but it is enough. That one has a hair-trigger temper and means the threats. Mother herself is devoted to the other family members and will defend anything they do to me as me deserving it.
The family would NEVER show this behavior in front of people, but a few people have still guessed something was amiss by the way they act around me.
Here's the kicker - in ONE year, one of these family members will be free to take over this duty. Not that they will willingly take it over, but if I run, that person has the OPPORTUNITY to do it because they will no longer have any other commitments.
So ---- I NEED to be able to financially support myself in one year, so that I can run away from this nightmare -and- run with a clear consciences that there is someone there to take care of mother. (Despite her ways, I can't drop the guilt of needing to be a dutiful daughter. Pathetic, I know.) They will hate me forever, but I can't do this any longer. Years ago, a psychologist told me that I was never to ever live among my family again because they are dangerous and predatory. But I got stuck out of desperation.
In the brief moments I can grab here and there through-out the day, I work on my online shop. It has taken 2 years to get there, but I'm now earning $500 a month as of last month. It made a sudden upswing only in these last months. God willing, it will keep growing. I even had inquiries from a customer to do something in my old line of work - and if I had the time, I'd do more of that too. If I had the time, I could do all of this better and faster, but as you can see, time isn't something I have. (If you pray, I would most appreciate prayers!) I'm going to make it somehow. I can't fail. I just can't.
Can anyone relate?