My grandpa 'F' and my grandma 'J'. I had already typed this whole thing out but it was deleted when I made an account so I'll do the best I can to remember.
They both live in their home with no caretaker. They have 5 daughters.
1. Seems to be an extreme hypochondriac, even though I've read that generally comes with age and is not uncommon.
2. "Needs" to go to the doctor at least once a week.
3. He calls the Mayo (Rochester) almost every day for 5 years, to talk to J's doctor(s) and nurse(s).
4. Called my aunt today, sitting in his truck at the end of the driveway crying saying he couldn't do it anymore and he's too stressed out. Once she got there he had finally gotten through to one of the Mayo nurses. He no longer needed to go to the doctor because he felt better then.
5. He has basically locked J in the house. He won't let her leave because he's too afraid and stressed and now he won't leave either.
6. Everything is the most extreme case scenario and if something stresses him out in the slightest he can't even handle visitors. (This happens often)
7. Constantly hovers J. It is with great and loving intention but, for example, he will take her blood pressure about 4 times a day. He still continues to even though their doctor at the Mayo told him that it is unnecessary.
1. She seems to have rapidly declining dementia. She has always had a bout of illnesses where we expected her not to make it a few times. She has also had a couple of bad falls just leaning on the couch, and then breaking bones. She goes to the Mayo every 6 months though so they are handling that.
2. She is going stir-crazy and seems to be getting angry because F won't let her leave the house.
1. They have owned their house for 40+ years.
2. The house smells so bad that if you visit you can taste it when you leave.
3. Their hair, breath, and clothes always smell like their house.
4. My aunt's have tried to clean it but it is never going to be good or safe enough.
5. The mold in the basement is so bad J has to wear a gas mask when she goes down there.
6. We have tried multiple times to find them a house but once one is found according to F's exact qualifications he doesn't want to go through with it.
7. I'm not sure if it's even a sentimental attachment as much as it's a stress/fear/just not wanting to move situation.
I'm usually good at helping to solve problems but I just can't think of anything right now. They need help but the worse their issues have gotten the more sensitive and irritable they have become. We don't know what we need to do... or when we figure out what to do, how to do it.
Feel free to ask any questions for clarification!! I'm sure I left out an important point or two. Thanks in advance.