Hugs, Dawn. It must be very painful to feel that you've been treated with such ingratitude. I know that's an old-fashioned word for it, but I can't think of a better one.
You mentioned that there's been a gap in bills? Is this a problem that you actually feel responsible for helping to solve?
Other than that, if you're free to and, in spite of everything else, you are confident that your mother will be all right with just their support; then why wouldn't you resign your POA and return to your own, nice, peaceful life? It doesn't have to mean harsh words between you and your mother, I hope any breach could be repaired; but why not let water pass under the bridge and meanwhile concentrate on your own wellbeing. I'm sure it couldn't hurt at least to take an extended break from caregiving?
You just hit the nail on the head, yes they were back seat drivers, but my mother knows her bills, and they are paying them, but there are more of them ( family wise ) than just me alone. I am not a young woman and do have to watch my own health also. The stress was to much. Plus I left my home 2 states away to bring my mother from a nursing home.....bedridden...... Back to independence, in a 5 month time period.
Dawn, it sounds as though uninformed family members decided to do some back-seat driving and in the process upset your mother and grossly insulted you.
But I have to say, your reaction to it doesn't seem to have been ideal. Stepping away is one thing. But to say to them "fine! See if you can do any better" and at the same time not provide them with the information they needed... well that's not really a reasonable test of their willingness and ability to help your mother, is it?
Assuming that you still do have POA for your mother, and that on balance you are happy to continue in that role, I should start again. Your mother did give you that authority to act for her. Her recent mistrust is based on ignorant opinions from other people. You are on solid ground. Do you know who the ringleader among the other family members is? Can you start a constructive conversation with that person, and restore order?
Are you still her power of attorney or did you resign from that, as well as from being her caregiver? Are you still supposed to be paying her bills?
It's certainly feasible, isn't it, for you to keep paying her bills while others do the hands on work? Or was the issue with family members about how your mom's money was being spent?
My mother, outside family are interfering & told her she was being mislead, so I stepped away from 24/7 care, to see if they could do a better job ( with her care ) . They have not got, all the details as to correct bills to even pay. I have been her POA for 4 and a half years.
Dawn, i think more details are needed; I haven't got a clue what you're asking.
What is your relationship to the elder? What are your ages? Whose bills are going unpaid? What decision was made? What do you mean when you say " overstepped"?
You mentioned that there's been a gap in bills? Is this a problem that you actually feel responsible for helping to solve?
Other than that, if you're free to and, in spite of everything else, you are confident that your mother will be all right with just their support; then why wouldn't you resign your POA and return to your own, nice, peaceful life? It doesn't have to mean harsh words between you and your mother, I hope any breach could be repaired; but why not let water pass under the bridge and meanwhile concentrate on your own wellbeing. I'm sure it couldn't hurt at least to take an extended break from caregiving?
Back to independence, in a 5 month time period.
But I have to say, your reaction to it doesn't seem to have been ideal. Stepping away is one thing. But to say to them "fine! See if you can do any better" and at the same time not provide them with the information they needed... well that's not really a reasonable test of their willingness and ability to help your mother, is it?
Assuming that you still do have POA for your mother, and that on balance you are happy to continue in that role, I should start again. Your mother did give you that authority to act for her. Her recent mistrust is based on ignorant opinions from other people. You are on solid ground. Do you know who the ringleader among the other family members is? Can you start a constructive conversation with that person, and restore order?
It's certainly feasible, isn't it, for you to keep paying her bills while others do the hands on work? Or was the issue with family members about how your mom's money was being spent?
What is your relationship to the elder? What are your ages? Whose bills are going unpaid? What decision was made? What do you mean when you say
" overstepped"?