Mom has been having falls. In fact, three just this past week. She is in her 80’s. Dad whom is also in his 80’s and my sister live at home with her 24/7. The catch is family is blaming me for the falls. With every fall, it is where were you? You are the paid caregiver. The thing is, falls aren’t happening on my watch (at least so far). They are happening before I come in, after I’ve gone for the day, overnight, or on my days off. I have begged all in the home and outside the home (siblings) to talk with those inside the home or to help and they all are siding with my sister on the blaming. I’ve talked with dad asking him to wait until I am there to watch mom while he enjoys himself still being active. Sister stays in her room majority of time. Dad swears when I am not there that the sibling that is living there sits with her, yet we get a fall. He says he doesn’t have to set around and wait on anyone. She has said she knew mom was up walking behind her one day but she still was going to her room until she heard the fall.
She was ordered a walker in the hospital but can’t be trusted alone on that thing. So I order a transport chair to use and still same day, we get a fall after I’m gone. So now I’m switching companies so that hopefully we can add on another worker. I have doctors trying to find out the cause of her weakness but so far they say - not being watched and they are getting frustrated. Mom is A ok with a bit of assistance, not a fussy/demanding person. Mom has not been diagnosed with dementia but has something going on which requires, well you know, someone with patience. So yesterday we had a blow up because the two living at home with her, like she was not there, was talking about how hard headed she is and when they tell her to stay put to stay put. She doesn’t do anything anyway so she should set on that sofa all day and if she had sit still as told the day before she would have not fell.
Yesterday really broke my heart. I thought of the guard rails in the bathroom, the alarm for the chair and bed. Thinking of turning off the home phone and getting the fall alert system and the phone where she can say call whomever. Considered calling state to see if they had people that could help with care or just to talk with family. But I don’t think any of this is going to help because of the attitudes of those living with her. I’m trying to do what is right and my little family from daughter to husband has been doing everything we can. But the other kicker is siblings think that also means taking care of sister – washing her clothes, bringing her meals, doing her hair. I don’t know!
I keep having thoughts of moving on, but the thought saddens me and saddens mom when I talk to her. At wits end!