Follow
Share

Took advice from a local alzheimer's helpline that I called about wandering when I had to leave to go to work. This was followed up with an email that stated that they recommended locking the doors and camouflaging the doors as stated in their literature as well.

Have now been arrested for felony false imprisonment and has cascaded into an ugly situation that a sibling who has refused to visit or help after my requests for years has turned it into a campaign to destroy me. The same sibling has been violent and attacked me twice in the recent past and my mom was afraid of him but remember this now. I have reimbursed myself for expenses which they are claiming exploitation even though I have receipts. Police have just arrested without any investigation whatsoever and has caused me to lose my job because of it being published. Why won't they talk to witnesses? My mom has no idea what is going on. I have been removed from the house and can't see her. I am devastated. The Alzheimer's group refuses to get involved now that there is an arrest even though they told me to do it! Don't they have some liability?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
It might sound terrible that this mother was left alone, but this caregiver did call for advice. If we're all honest, let's admit we sometimes do things out of desperation that might not look so great after-the-fact. We do our best. Let's not get too down on this person regardless what Monday-morning-quarterbacking we'd do.

Meanwhile, let's give this person a little sympathy. Doing all this without help and with violent people to deal with probably takes up a lot of mental stress, in addition to having to hold a job and all the ordinary stresses.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

You asked the alheimers help line what to do about a loved one who is a wandering danger. They gave you appropriate advice, there is a suggestion that putting a black mat in front of the door to make the patient think it is a black hole they can not cross.
All these suggestions are very appropriate for preventing wandering which we all know can be fatal.
When a patient gets to the stage where they may wander, and clearly you are acknowledging this, THEY ARE NOT SAFE TO BE LEFT HOME ALONE WITH OR WITHOUT ACESS TO THE BACK YARD.
Don't try and hide behind professional advice. You knew by implication there was a danger of her wandering and took steps to contain her. That means she was not safe home alone because there were other things it was not safe to do ie cooking, letting the bath run over, not being able to call 911 when she fell. Did you disable the cook stove, hide all the sharp knives, lock up the matches, hide medications? only you know the answers to those questions. I am not acusiing you of anything.
now you are mad at me but I know you are a difficult situation and probably thought you were doing the best for Mom by moving in and letting her remain at home. You did it with a good heart and are to be praised for that but as you have found out the job is too much to do alone. Let the professionals take over mom's care and get your life back on track. You can contest the loss of your job just because you have been arrested but have not been convicted of a crime all you have done is make some poor choices probably because you did not know any better. well now you do.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Whatever happened to common sense?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

diyjustice, your last two postings you were focusing in on the Alzheimer's helpline instead of whomever called the police to report that your mother was being held against her will. Who are your witnesses? If the witnesses were neighbors, then the police would have the witnesses' interviews in their investigation. Police don't arrest people on a whim or on hearsay.

Question, since you had to leave your mother's house, who is now taking care of her?

Usually hotlines of any type record the calls.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

They are still not responsible for how your brother interpreted her protection....

I don't think going to the media is a good idea.... caregivers have enough problems without non participating family members seeing something like this and becoming lemmings.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

The whole reason this agency exists is to give advice to caregivers. I told them I needed to leave for work and shopping. It is in their documentation. They knew she could go into the yard.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If you think you have "a case" for police misconduct, then ask to file a report at the police station. They'll give you the proper forms. As for going to the media, well, I think there's many a care giver out there that's going to react as I did -- your mom wasn't safe to be left alone.

Win the case in court first. Then go to the media. I suspect you'll be given the opportunity to plea to a lesser charge. Discuss your options with an attorney before you make your decision.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I called because of asking what to do for her wandering when I needed to leave for work and shopping. It is in the documentation. I sought their expert advice. She was able to go to the backyard
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This group specifically says that they are their for caregivers and are medically trained to give advice I sought help from experts and got arrested because of following their expert advice. It got ugly really quickly. It is so embarrassing but I am thinking of going to the media because of the recommendations from the agency as well as police misconduct. Would this be a good idea?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

There is more to this story.

You weren't arrested because you camouflaged the doors and locked them. I don't believe that. What I do believe is that you may have been arrested for doing that because it represented endangerment or neglect or some-such; thus it was unlawful imprisonment. You can't leave someone alone like that. What is there were a fire? That your loopy loved one started?

You'll get your day in court. But if you're leaving your mom alone? She's not safe. She obviously had other options, because you've left the home. I'm sure she hasn't been left there alone.

If some idiot on their hotline told you to camouflage all the exits and mom-proof all the locks AND LEAVE HER ALONE IN THE HOUSE, you have written proof you were talking to an idiot. Good thing she didn't tell you to jump off a bridge.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Oh, and what happened to your mom during all this... when you were arrested who took care of her????
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

No, they simply gave you a suggestion... whether or not you acted on it is up to you... I am so sorry to hear this situation you find yourself in..... this got ugly quickly didn't it..... why was there no investigation before the arrest? Even suspected murderers are investigated before being arrested.... is there more to the story besides an ugly brother...??? Please keep us updated on this situation as it may help others who find themselves in the same situation......

I hope you have a lawyer and you can at least direct the attorney to the website that gave you the suggestion... further proof for him that your intention was to keep her safe, not keep her hostage....the things families do to each other is beyond my comprehension sometimes... .. hope things are worked out quickly for you.....hugs and prayers
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.