Two days ago I was with my mother as she passed away. I walked into the nursing home room she was in and found her with her head sideways up, eyes real wide and gasping deep breathing and unresponsive so I called for help. She had been in hospice care for a year. Nurses ran in and check vitals while I kept talking to her and was told to call my siblings. She came around and started squeezing my hand when I asked if she had pain told her to squeeze, and she would look at me but couldn’t speak just breathe. She understood because I told her my daughter was there and give her a kiss and she puckered and my daughter kissed her. Shortly after she started moving her arms towards her shoulders and around kinda like a baby just moves, on up and sides, and her eyes got so wide like looking all around moving her head. But she wasn’t looking at anything. Like she’s seeing something scary. My mother was alone living Catholic women loved by so many. I can’t help to feel so hurt because I feel it’s my job to make sure she’s comfortable and was always ok. I was there everyday! I wasn’t expecting this and keep crying thinking she was in distress. They were supposed to have morphine and Adavan on hand but only had morphine. Does this sound like she was freaking out? I was at peace knowing her time was coming but I feel so bad. She passed with an hour with me and my daughter there. I went there every morning before work at that time. I’m heartbroken to think she was terrified or panicking 🥺🥺
I going through this myself now. My father was put in the hospital about 2 weeks ago for becoming violent. He has Alzheimer's and we weren't able to figure out why such a calm, gentle person would act out like that.
Yesterday he was moved in the hospice and I've been told that that violent outburst was the beginning of his body preparing to pass away.
I have been watching over him for the last 4 years and watched him go from a super smart wonderful person too. Someone that can't remember.
I just wish him to be at peace soon.
I going through this myself now. My father was put in the hospital about 2 weeks ago for becoming violent. He has Alzheimer's and we weren't able to figure out why such a calm, gentle person would act out like that.
Yesterday he was moved in the hospice and I've been told that that violent outburst was the beginning of his body preparing to pass away.
I have been watching over him for the last 4 years and watched him go from a super smart wonderful person too. Someone that can't remember.
I just wish him to be at peace soon.
I going through this myself now. My father was put in the hospital about 2 weeks ago for becoming violent. He has Alzheimer's and we weren't able to figure out why such a calm, gentle person would act out like that.
Yesterday he was moved in the hospice and I've been told that that violent outburst was the beginning of his body preparing to pass away.
I have been watching over him for the last 4 years and watched him go from a super smart wonderful person too. Someone that can't remember.
I just wish him to be a peace soon
I going through this myself now. My father was put in the hospital about 2 weeks ago for becoming violent. He has Alzheimer's and we weren't able to figure out why such a calm, gentle person would act out like that.
Yesterday he was moved in the hospice and I've been told that that violent outburst was the beginning of his body preparing to pass away.
I have been watching over him for the last 4 years and watched him go from a super smart wonderful person too. Someone that can't remember.
I for just wishing him to be a peace soon.
It sounds as though you accompanied her release from this world in a very appropriate and peaceful and beautiful way.
I hope I say “farewell” when my LO departs as you did.
Thank you for posting your comments. Although you were briefly disturbed, I hope it will bring you peace to know how helpful it was for me to read what you’ve said.
Blessings….
I am very sorry for your loss of your mother. Our Mom's are our anchor in this life and losing them changes everything about our own sense of place in this world. You loss is profound.
Be comforted that you and your daughter were with her; she likely held on until you arrived to allow you to have your goodbyes. She knew you were there and even gave a goodbye kiss and squeezed your hand. Take comfort in that gift of having the chance to say your final goodbyes, final until you meet again, on the other side of life.
In reading your description of your mother's final hours, I see nothing that indicates her being in distress. She was transitioning to her spiritual life and we can't impose our human perceptions on a dying person's response to seeing the Heavenly Host and loved ones gone before, all with her to escort her into God's presence. We cannot imagine the majesty of her visions or interpret her body and eye movements in terms of the mundane physical world; she was in the presence of angels and loved ones, in visions that we cannot know until our own time comes. Her body movements were a lingering physical response to the majesty of God's presence.
I was a Hospice RN for 5 years and in my near 50 years in Health Care, I attended many deaths. I've witnessed an entire range of responses to the transition from the physical life to the spiritual world. Your mother was not in pain; the morphine saw to that. I read nothing that indicates the need for Ativan, an anti-anxiety medication. Her mind was far beyond what could be touched by any anxiety medication and again, we can't interpret the body and eye movements in normal human terms because she was in the presence of angels. How can we possibly know how the dying mind and body will respond to the profoundness of heavenly visions? I've never tried because it's beyond our ability to understand. I've witnessed some amazingly profound things while attending deaths and all of it affirms my spiritual beliefs.
Be comforted in knowing that your beloved mother is now free of this earthly toil, she has a brand new body of light and is now living in the presence of God. As you go through your long process of grieving, take comfort in knowing that she is with you, trying to give you comfort, while fully transitioning to her spiritual life. Hers in now a life without limits, she is with the Heavenly Host now.
You'll be going through so very many emotions in the coming days and months. Please don't allow regret to be among them or allow any regrets to cloud the true and lasting gift of being with your beloved mother in her final hour in this world.
I wish you the peace that passeth understanding.
One of the final stages of ALZ is the person ends up in the fetal position, which is what happened with my grandmother.
"she started moving her arms towards her shoulders and around kinda like a baby just moves, on up and sides"
Maybe that was actually what it was. Your Moms brain was back to being an infant. The do revert back.
Sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry it was so upsetting, but remember that your mother is safe and at peace. Wishing you comfort.
I think the same happened with your mom. She saw the spirit world. Perhaps, she was surprised to see it, maybe even a bit shocked, a bit scared. But the spirit realm is not scary, it's a beautiful place, and that's where your mother is right now, with all her relatives that went before her. And when it's your time to go, she'll be there to welcome you. Please be at peace and enjoy the life you have from now till then.
Honestly, I don't think your mother was aware if she even was in any distress. She died more naturally than hospice would normally have happen, but try not to worry. She's at peace now, and what you saw will fade from your memory fairly quickly. My dad died very peacefully, but it was nonetheless traumatic to see, and I thought I'd never forget it. Yet a month later, I couldn't even bring that image up in my mind. All I could remember was my dad when he was happy and healthy, and you'll have that, too.
I'm really sorry for your loss.