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It's a real battle to make myself go & I can't go by myself. He's spoiled me my entire life. I have cared for him the last 7 years till he got too weak for me to handle him. I told myself I would never put him away & cost is high & I know I've done what I said I'd never do yet I feel relief which causes me guilt. It makes me feel horrible that I had to put him in a home.

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My mom was moved from AL to Skilled Nursing. Same facility just different floor. I knew the time would come, but didn't think it would come so soon. I feel sad because of the reasons she's there, Dementia and unable to walk anymore. However, my Mom has thrived since the move,gets involved with activities and outings. I go almost every week to see her. I feel bad for the Residents who are suffering from whatever is they have. My mom isn't too bad, she was just diagnosed with Uterine Cancer,she will die with it, but not from it. I pray God doesn't let her suffer too long with the Dementia.
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Oh my, three threads from the same OP, this is what comes of telling people they will get replies in 10 minutes or less...

www.agingcare.com/questions/I-cant-make-myself-go-see-my-dad-in-the-nursing-home-I-took-429810.htm

www.agingcare.com/questions/Im-making-myself-sick-by-not-going-and-visiting-my-dad-as-often-as-I-think-I-should-he-thinks-Ive-ju-429811.htm
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For me guilt doesn't come into it, but there are other emotions: sorrow about all the features of an institutional lifestyle, discomfort with trying to make connections with so many new faces and new procedures, feeling rejected that my input is no longer wanted or needed even though I know my parent intimately, and being somewhat overwhelmed as I try to focus on picking up the tattered shreds of my old life or try to find a place in life as it is now. If you throw in that someone with dementia doesn't really know the difference if you were there today or last week, and the constant advice to not visit so often and move on with your life, it is easy to see why so many people in the NH have few constant visitors.
How long has he been there? It takes a while to get over things - everything - and find a new normal.
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