the good bad and ugly... in 08 my dad had a stroke, massive he had lay in his own vomit and urine for 3 days before I found him. I had been calling his work and asking of they could tell him to call me. Monday tues and wed I went by his house doors locked and phone off the hook which really wasn't unusual since he was on dial-up and had a habit of leaving the computer online. but something was bothering me... he liked to be left alone but there was something off. Thrusday morning I was dropping my daughter off, she was going to clean his house and stay there during the day. still locked door and there were papers still piled up on the porch... I turned around to take my daughter back to the car and called his work AGAIN! demanding to talk to his boss, "no hasn't been in all week, called in vacation mon and tue and no show on wed" WTF!! I"ve been calling and his coworkers said he was "around somewhere" did a Uturn on a bridge and sped back to dad's calling my brother "get to dads now" we broke in the back door and found him, my brother started dry heaving and panicking, my daughter got me a cloth to get the vomit out of his mouth and nose... CALL 911!! bro still just stood there dry heaving ... by 17 year old daughter had to do it. I'm barking out stats and findings. Dad was in CCU for 1 month and 3 in recovery/therapy. My bro sis and I never talked about it. They had their families and I had work and mine, but when it came time for him to leave hospital, they wanting nothing to do with it, sis wanted to put him in a home and brother didn't have much of an opinion that he spoke of. dad wanted to go home, he missed his dogs and just wanted to be home. I lived alone, I had an apt. I could move in and he could have his home and a caregiver at night. My son asked if he could do his therapy and stuff during the day, while I worked. sure dad said. WELL this started the slide... brother and sister said I had manipulated dad into taking me in so I didn't have to pay rent and could live in his home. a year later they demanded I move out and stop abusing Dad. ( cleaning, cooking, working 60 hrs a week, sleeping little because night is when dad's brain starts short circuiting = abuse) So I moved out. Bro was going to take over at dads and sister was going to... well do nothing. I was pissed so I stopped helping too. Son had moved on to a different job. Daughter was working full time too. Bro went 2-3 times a week to pick up the house shop and clean up after dad who drove to sonic 3-4 times a day for burgers and cokes and left all the trash out where his dogs got it and tore it up everywhere... he started pooping his pants and leaving those down where dogs could feast too, and piling them in the bathroom sink when he felt like it... he became totally incontinent and increasingly irritated with everything, stopped paying bills and so bro stopped going by. it was too much. a year of this and I found out I had stage 3 liver fibrosis, and cervical cancer. I wasn't going to be able to keep working as much. So I asked dad if I "could" move back in again. I'll help around the house and I can not have to worry about rent? OMG bro and sis had a FIT!!! they haven't talked to me ... they've talked ABOUT me and how I'm using dad and abusing dad and manipulating my way into this lush lifestyle of dementia and poo... Dad is clean now house is mostly clean now though I'm not Martha Stewart there is nothing gross in the sink anymore and the dogs don't tear up everything. He eats home cooked meals and no more driving, he takes his meds everyday and is as healthy as he can be. I on the other hand have not been able to get treatment for either of my conditions and honestly ... I don't want to. My family doesn't talk to me, my friends don't call I can't leave him alone because he goes bonkers and tries to fight the alligators and men with guns he sees all over the house, I haven't been laid in so long I think I've sealed shut... tmi? I used to be cute and vivacious... now I wear sweats and pony-tails. I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel. I lost my job and family and friends. I do however have my cats.... yippee... crazy cat lady? just two, don't picture me covered in them. I'm broken and have no idea how to fix me.