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Good luck with this. You are smart and experienced. Keep us posted.
Nursing homes ( and I know this from experience) are not very pleasant living quarters. The staff is at best minimalist in care , although they look "busy".
The real reason you would want your father in a nursing home is to relieve you of the burden of care. One of the most important facts that is rarely discussed is the fact that an average "stay" in a nursing home is eighteen months. What do you thinki happens after that? It's usually hospice/and or death. If you love your parent and you want them around with you, I would try to find any and all help that you can to keep your father at home in the safety and loving envirronment of your own home surrounded by loved ones.
Carol is right. We don't judge. Some people have the grace to care for others, some can't physically continue to care, and there are those who simply know their limitations and don't have their loved ones in their homes. There are many good facilities. Would we all want to stay at home, sure. But sometimes it isn't possible. My mother in law needed constant care, her daughter had to work, and after 10 years in AL, had to go to a nursing home . They took good care of her and she died in her sleep. My mom is with me, but I know to never say never. There may come a time when she needs to go to a nursing home and get the care she might need. Don't make the promise of never sending your loved one to a home. It may not be a promise that you can keep. God Bless.
I guess I would start off by asking them to read all of the posts on Agingcare.com before attempting to explain. Even then, unless they are actively participating in the physical and emotional parts of careging, they may not understand no matter how much you try to explain as long as it is abstract and they have not "been there - done that". So I would also offer to have them drop everything they are doing for a week, and swap lives with the caregiver.
That said, if they do not understand after you have given them many reasons one day they will find out first hand themselves. Remember when they were little & you said wait till you have kids?
Hang in there and take care - don't be bullied. You have handled so much as a caregiver that you deserve respect for your opinion. So if the understanding isn't there ask them to read everything on this site & keep on truckin'