Follow
Share

Thanks for your help on the last question I asked, but my dad has gotten worse and has started being delusional. He was driving (yes he is still a good driver) but going to our cousins car lot saying they are suppose to "give" him and all us kids a car..etc. He has started handing out coins to people he meets, says god told him to. We "broke" his car last Friday, had a caregiver stay with him for a few hours and take him around town...etc..he said he didn't want her to come back, that he doesn't need help. He babbles on and on the last week or so.. We have started guardianship proceedings and have also filed for emergency guardianship..this has worsened so quickly, and I can't get him in to a Geriatric Dr. till July. He found what we did to the car and fixed it. He is back on the road and going all over town telling stories and such.. he has a meltdown and gets violent when we mention that we don't want him driving. Its not the driving it's what he does when he gets there too! Can dementia progress this rapidly? I don't feel comfortable leaving him alone in his house all night. Local doctors are a joke, they examined him and said, yes he has dementia, but they were no help! Help!!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I told my mother-in-law that if she drives she will probably kill some innocent people, and she'll have to live with that guilt the rest of her life! She replied "That's okay, I'm old, I won't have to live with that guilt for very long" ...at some point you bring up the subject and if nobody listens, hide the keys or disconnect the battery.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Even if not eligible for admission, many Hospice programs have lots of services to which they can refer you. I called AND stopped by in person at our most famous local elder care center. The receptionist volunteer said "go next door and ask" about adult day care. The message I left on voice mail was never answered. Sometimes you fall onto a great service by accident, while chatting w employees of local businesses while running errands. Amazing how many people are in the same situation!
Sandwich42 is spot on about changing docs if dissatisfied - it has made a world of difference for my FIL. Still have hard time believing his former MD of 31 years had no idea how bad his dementia was. FIL is a GREAT actor and has very definite public and private personalities, especially in front of doctors. Calls my husband foul names, kicks and punches both of us, complains about pain but is a perfect gentleman with " no problems at all" when asked by PMD how he is.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Well, I will tell you. I live in central Mo. and I called the COA and they gave me the contact number for a gal who was trying to cover 3 counties on her own...she never DID call me back, so I gave up.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Call your area agency on aging ASAP tomorrow and don't pass GO or collect $200 until you do. They can connect you to the services and supports available in your state. They can find a social worker to help you manage things.

If you aren't getting satisfactory cooperation from the doctor - CHANGE DOCTORS.

I really wish we had a service who would start monitoring people when they turn 70 or get a terminal disease or dementia diagnosis. It would help the family and person understand what's happening, bring in help, and make sure that people don't have to struggle and discover what to do by accident or word of mouth. I think it's just stupid that every single person who comes to this site has had to stumble upon it typically in a crisis. I think that society can do a lot better in this area, but it won't happen until it's a priority. Or we realize it's not 1950 anymore where people don't drop dead in the field at age 60, or die 6 weeks after a cancer diagnosis, and it was assumed that the daughters would just assume the role of stay at home care taker.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thank you sooo much, I just needed to hear it. And you are right..there is not NEAR enough local community help in some areas. There is nowhere to turn.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Contact DMV for options on taking license. This is impairment. Would you let him drive drunk or w/ low blood sugar or seizures? My mother in law wouldn't let FIL drive anymore 4 years ago but never said why. Come to think of it, there's a lot she never told us....She died last year and it took us about 6 months to figure out how bad his dementia was. The FIRST time he mentioned it was "time to go home" while in his own house, his keys were taken away. He wasn't thrilled and still isn't, but we are much happier ignoring the pleading or demands for keys than we would be explaining to the neighbors why we let him kill all the children at the bus stop. Or trying to figure out where he went with the car after finding him missing. He also has delusions and the mind of 4-5 yr old most days, and we certainly would not give a child keys to a 1 ton bomb, regardless of "how good" he drives. Good luck w guardianship. You have to make choices to keep everybody safe, even if he gets mad. It's not your fault he can't drive safely, any more than it's his fault he has impaired judgment and delusions. It is what it is.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This sounds more like psychosis or delirium rather than just the usual course of dementia, and a real challenge medically; here's hoping you can find a doc or two who is up to it.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Dementia can progress very quickly in some cases. That may be what's going on here, or uti, or complications from his other injury. In any case he should not be driving and he needs to be in the hospital or a memory care facility. You're doing all the right stuff, guardianship and so on, and he may fight every step of the way but try to see it through. Hide the car. H*ll haveva fit but just do it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Oh Captain. *sigh* You nut. :-)

Seriously though, Yes, dementia can progress that rapidly.
No, not every doctor is trained on the problems & signals of aging and cognitive decline. It really is a specialty. My mother's GP let a LOT slide that actually sped up her decline. I wanted to throttle that man.

The hard part is asserting yourself with Dad because it feels wrong and upside down. You may very well NOT be able to have a rational, reasonable discussion with dad over anything. You & sibling probably will need to make a plan and put in place around dad, meaning deciding where he needs to live to get adequate care now and as he declines. This will feel wrong and backwards too, but you MUST - let me repeat - MUST - do what keeps him safe. Just mentally prepare yourselves for him to be upset, angry, mean, and feel betrayed, but it will pass. I promise.
The goal outweighs any temporary upset.

Dealing with this is HARD and we do precious little to prepare people for it and support them through it.

Many of us on this site have had to deal with all of this and worse, so you will find a lot of good ideas and support here.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

you could try a singing telegram .
na na na NA
dear old dad , we need to have some words .
your getting as nutty , as squirrel turds .
your driving is gonna be your doom ,
we got ya reservations , in a rubber room .
if your not , a cooperative tennant .
were gonna put you in the home , you saw on 60 minutes ..
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am sorry I was trying to keep it short, but he has had a heart attack, a light stroke, and a subdural hematoma from a nasty fall two years ago and he had to have emergency brain surgery for that...He has had some dementia for a while now..but this delusion thing just started recently and has escalated quickly. I got him in to his family dr. last Friday for check-up, wouldn't they have tested for UTI? After noticing his diminished state?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Is there an emergency room you can take him to? He needs to be seen by a neurologist and a geriatric psychiatrist, at the least. He might have dementia and/ or he might have a uti. In your shoes, I would get him to a hospital asap.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.