Follow
Share

She has NEVER watched television, does not know any music other than church hymns, the only famous people she knows are a couple of presidents. She doesn't even watch the news because she can only comprehend basic vocabulary. This isn't really her fault. She grew up attending a one room rural school house she walked 3 miles to get to each day and only completed the 8th grade. She never had a hobby in her 84 years of life. All she ever enjoyed doing was working. Well now she has to live with family because of her health, she cant drive, cant work and finds herself being bored. She is not open minded to trying anything. She will not sew, knit, read, play games, puzzles, nothing. She just wants to sit and talk talk talk...about saving money and eating food....ALL DAY!!! Okay, as if talking about hoarding food and pinching pennies isn't hard enough, imagine trying to talk to someone who cant hear you well at all because she refuses to wear her hearing aids (she is too cheap to pay for the batteries but is a very rich woman) AND....you cant speak to her on your own level. You have to speak to her like she is in 3rd grade and make everything more simple for her to understand. This is an example of her rambling on: "Well suga, I think we gone have to make a trip up there to the dolla market and get some of those sweet potatoes for 33 cents a pound. I wish I could get my medicine cheaper than what I been doin because I'm having to pay $3.42 a month for it right now and its hard on me when I aint been working (she has a regular monthly income of $1800 per month between social security and interest checks, $700K in the bank, two homes she rents out, and $30K in the stock market). I'll be real glad when this cold weather wears off and I can start me a garden and not have to buy all these vegetables. I sure will be glad when so and so brings me some deer meat but I hope it will be tender and that way I can chew it. I like deer meat. I like to make a stew out of it. Its real good. " You get the point? It's constant and goes on all day with no relief. If I turn the tv on and turn up the volume, she does not get the point. I finally said to her " Grandma, this is my favorite show. I'm going to sit down and relax for a bit and watch it okay?" NOPE, doesn't work! I told her that not everyone loves to talk all of the time. She claimed that she doesn't like to talk all the time either. My jaw fell open. Really? I can't tell. I have to sit in my cold garage with my laptop to get a break., Guess what? She follows me out there too. What do I do without being rude??

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
haahaa you get her to assisted living. you say "momma you been savin' all yo' life for a rainy day. Well it's comin' down cats and dogs now, momma."
I told mom "You will live like a princess, like goin' on a cruise, it's just the ship doesn't leave the dock. Bus trips, entertainment, three meals, a maid and laundry service. Enjoy the cruise."
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Well Suga.... how about getting a wireless headset and listen to the tv/radio... and nod at her every now and then... and just let her talk? ;)
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Her lack of interest in the outside world has nothing to do with her education or lack thereof. My mom went to a country school and at 95 works crossword puzzles and still watches the news and keeps up on things. Your grandmother has chosen to lead a very narrow life for whatever reason. I'm not sure if she's got limited intelligence, based on what you have written, or she's just totally uninterested in anything beyond her own life. It sounds like she's done very well financially, is that her doing or her husband's?

Where is your mom in all of this? You live with your grandmother, right? You sound young enough that you should have "places to go and people to see", so that you can get away from her for some time each day. And get some wireless headphones as suggested. Just because your grandmother has no interests, doesn't mean you have to sit and listen to her all day long. I feel for you!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I agree with Blannie above, your grandmother's "lack of interest in the outside world has nothing to do with her education or lack thereof."

You mentioned church hymns, and I am wondering back when your grandmother was growing up that maybe the church frowned upon women being interested in the outside world, that they should only be interested in their husband's care, children, and church itself. And that her husband never talked business or world events with her.

But you did mention that she had worked.... what type of work? Was her wealth from the work or was it her husband's wealth or both? Who is managing the homes that she rents out, and does she have a say in what goes on with the investment properties?

Could be your grandmother is bored, and talking is easy, and you are the only one she has to told to. Are there any church ladies that she can visit, maybe a Bible class? She needs to be around people of her own generation.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I have to say that I entirely enjoyed your entry. My mother talks and talks too. And I never know just what she is going to say, and she says it loudly because she can't hear and she rambles on because of her deafness. This way, she won't have to answer any questions that she does not hear. On and on and on. Looks like you have your hands (and ears full). I say to buy her some of that chewy candy she loves and keep the jawin' busy in another way. Keep lotsa candy on hand! I know exactly how you feel....lol.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Can you find a friend, relative, visitors from a church that might come by and entertain her for a few hours each week or maybe they could drive her to a seniors group each week.

My husband's grandmother was the same, talk talk talk while she had the TV blaring and the next day repeated everything she heard. I stress to everyone the importance of a hobby or interest to keep you busy and involved.

Good luck!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

It sounds like your grandmother is financially set. Are you inheriting her estate? I think I might be more tolerate if that was the case. I'm not sure why you would struggling financially if you are providing her care and she is so well off. Does she know you barely have money for your meds?

I might try to figure out a way to intrigue her or amuse her in some way. I know she say she's not interested in many things, but I might try to find something that would amuse her. Is she able to go somewhere that she could talk to others who grew up like she did? It might allow her to winde down if she was able to rid some of her energy on other things. Can she fold clothes, shell peas, anything that gives her purpose.

I know the constant talking can be annoying, but I will say that some of those elderly people may have more to offer than we realize. I might slow down and really listen to her. Sounds like she's a very smart woman.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

While I am sorry that you are going through this...I was glad to see I'm not the only one with this problem. I just read through 47 pages to find this.

My mom has Dementia, bad hearing, bad eyesight, and is on oxygen 24/7, and uses a walker. This makes it hard for her to enjoy anything. What she seems to enjoy most, is for me to watch TV with her, although I don't think she sees, hears, or understands much of it. Because of this, she talks, and talks, and talks! What makes it worse, is that she is pretty incoherent and doesn't usually make sense. I need to know how to get her to be quiet without hurting her feelings. The bad thing is, this could be a break for me, if I didn't have to constantly pause the TV to try to hear/understand her. (I have a profound hearing loss myself since birth, and rely on the TV's caption for TV and lip reading to listen to her, so obviously I can't do both.) This is driving me up a wall! (She is 89 yrs old)
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Does she enjoy movies??? If so, maybe invest in a 10" tablet and Netflix and a set of earbuds? See if someone from a local church can pick her up Wednesdays and Sundays to give you a break. They might also have a woman's bible study group you could get her into. Just some thoughts. Good luck!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Girrrrrlll, this is MY POST, word for word. Mama never had any interests. All she ever did was work, work, work. And then, go out an party when we were kids.

This is so ME in this post. May we find a way to tune them out and get on with our lives and all the rest of what we have to do.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter