Has anyone had the experience of Assisted Living not "assisting" enough?

We have mom at an ALF that has nurses on 24/7. They do watch her take her meds, they do call all the residents to dinner and they do go to the room to remind her if she doesn't arrive in the dining hall. She complained they were not helping her, but we saw the aide come in and ask to get her ready for bed, but she told the aide "I don't need help. I can do it just fine" She also claimed she could not use her left arm at all, but we saw her raise her arm and grip a railing quite firmly. She told us one resident was picking on her. Others at her table did not see him as the problem and were relieved when she changed her seat assignment. Two sides to every story.

AL is an up and coming industry.When you check these places out actually do a walk thru. Make sure you get any paperwork that the facility states exactly what they are expected to do for the resident.Never assume anything. Make sure background checks are part of their hiring process.Also have it in writing just exactly how much nursing care your parent needs(like getting meds and making sure they have been taken).They may give you an initial cost and then start charging for "extras" like making sure your parent socializes,gets meds etc.

Well..that is interesting. Now in independent living she has all those same things..except we have to remind her to go eat, and needs encouragement to join activities. She also needs someone to give her meds to her and make sure she takes them.

Assisted living doesn't handle everything. For the most part, they provide meals in a dining room, light housekeeping, laundry services, social entertainment and transportation. Anything else would be paid extra for. What exactly is it that your mother needs? If she needs help with her medication for example you should be able to pay an extra fee for the facility to handle it. If its something more advanced and she needs help standing, walking, getting to the bath etc. she may be better suited to a nursing home.

Angel