I am the primary caregiver for my mom, who is 85 and has dementia. I have done everything I can to support her at home so she could stay there as long as possible. This past June she had to go to the hospital, then needed rehab. I found a facility close to myself and my other siblings and decided that the best long term solution for her would be for her to transfer to the nursing home side of the rehab because she needs more care than we can realistically provide at this point. It was a difficult decision, and it isn't finalized yet (legal paperwork battles with nursing home). I spent the summer looking at every possible option...other nursing homes, assisted living facilities, 24 hr home care. I have a brother and sister who really wanted her to go home, and thought she didn't need 24 hr care. But they let me make the decision, and I felt she wasn't safe without 24 hr care. We can get her in AL for a year or two then she moves to Medicaid and she would have to go back to a nursing home b/c she surpasses the Medicaid threshold for the amount of income she has coming in. I don't think we can sustain home care financially either long term, and Medicaid does not cover home care. Right now my mom is on respite at the nursing home and I told them it's a transition period to see if both she and my siblings can buy in to the idea of her staying there. Now they ask to change her room from a rehab to a long term bed. My concern is that my mom is verbal and still social and understands quite a bit, and her roommate is nonverbal, not interactive. So my mom will get no stimulation. My bigger concern than that, however, is that her roommate screams and I know this will keep my mom awake and agitate her. The social worker said I was entitled to a hearing to express my concerns and when it happened, the director basically said, "I hear your concerns, we have to move her." There are many empty beds in the rehab section so I don't see an emergency. I explained about the buy in, said this wouldn't serve us well, and asked if we could put this off until she is off of respite (which we are paying for privately to the tune of $10,000). They moved her anyway and she is not happy. This is the closest nursing home to us and visits are very important to my mom but it makes me wonder if we should just give her a couple good years in assisted living or at home. Am I expecting too much in wanting them to listen to a family member and their concerns? I am just not sure what to do.