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My mother has brain cancer and the doctors say she has 2 to 6 months to live. What should I expect while I'm caring for her during this time?

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For what it is worth, let me just tell you about a friend of mine who died from brain cancer. This was probably 10 years ago, but he was a very intelligent person and would tell me all about what was going on with his body during this process of his illness. He could tell me about why one side of his body was cold and the other was not. He so understood his illness and was only in his early 50's.

My point is that you can get a grip on what is going on with the brain if you want to know and have a doctor to consult with, but you have to be aggressive and clear about what you want to understand.

My husband went down to help with our friend at the end. It is a difficult illness to treat and there are not many successful stories of survival. The brain is not easily reached with chemotherapy and radiation has it limits.

I hope someday there will be a better way of treating this disease.
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My grandmother just passed away on oct9th 2012 of a brain tumor .The drs gave her 2 to 6 months to live, she passed after just three short weeks . She wenyt to the dr for an MRI the wet read it and told her she had a tumor to come in and they would discuss her options and speak with a brain surgeon .before she got to that appt she lost all speach and was put in the hospital where they put her on steroids to bring down the swelling ,aftyer about 7 days in the hospital and a visit from her dr and the surgeon they decided that there was nothing they could do ,but because GOD is so good by this time she had regained most of her speech and we took her home with the help of Hospice who came in and made it as easy as the could we had her for another couple of weeks .during that time her eating decreased and she spent almost all her time in bed except to eat dinner and go outside a couple of times .she continued to get week and more sleepy taking more and more naps .then one night she had alot of anxiety and couldnt breath to well so we called hospice and they had oxygen delivered she eventually lost contiousness and went in a coma and died the next morning ,I was holding her hand when she left this world and I told her it was ok for her to go home everyone was going to be ok .and she did imiss her very much I hope that this helped also read the book thats provided from hospice gone from my sight its very helpfull kristina
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Thank you Jaye really appreciate your response. So far only one seizure....just hoping we have more time with her. God Bless.
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I would really encourage you to get hospice involved... they can do as much or as little as you would like them to. They are wonderful about helping with medications and equipment. They also will help you with what to expect. I think my big concern would be seizures. My Mother in law had colon cancer and it spread she did have seizures! It was very scarry for my Father in law and brother in law. take care and God bless!
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God bless you all for such a quick response. It has given me a lot to think about and things to provide my brothers and sisters with. Thank you for helping others like me in times like these. Take care and God Bless.
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My mom discovered a lump in her neck, she found out it was cancer and not operatable. She is only 66. It has Met. in her brain. She was on steriods and given 6 months possible 2 years with radiation...she said she would rather enjoy 6 months then be miserable for 2 years. Us kids don't know what to expect. She is trying to heal herself the healthy route...there is a lot out there regarding homeopathic methods. We know it's her life and her choice. She put herself back on her steriods when she tried to wean herself off she had a minor seizure...I say minor only because of a lack of a better term. She knew what was going on but her body wasn't working. She took a steriod pill as soon as she came out of it and has been taking them ever since. We understand we might not have that much time with mom. We know eventually her speech with be effected...she shows signs every now and then....but what else should we expect? I know this is not a pleasant thing to think of, but I am trying to prepare my 4 siblings and I don't know what to tell them. I am the oldest and everyone is looking for me for answers. Mom is still positive and that is great for everyone involved. I know no one can give us exacts...but what should we be looking for.....our dad is 73 and we need to let him know what to look for as well. Any answers or ideas anyone could give us (including prayers) would be helpful. To anyone that is reading this that smokes.....please stop....now.
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Jessielou comment is very helpful. Well my stepfather died on prostate cancer which spread all over inside him. He was a prostate cancer survivor for 17 years when he was first operated. Then his cancer came back and he did not tell my mom that he couldn't pee, so one day he couldn't walk anymore and we thought that he had problem with his spine cord(disk) because he had two surgeries before. The doctor told my mom that the cancer returned on June 2009 and he died on Sept. 23, 2009. he was hospitalized, they operated him because also he developed veins problems. he was sent back home because my mom was able to take care of him, they also provided hospice service so a doctor and a nurse (came to bathe him 3 times a week). he couldn't chew anymore so we blended his food and crushed his pilds and give them to him mixed up with apple sauce. he was bedridden for 3 months, he lost weight. he sometimes was unresponsive. he complained of pain all the times. he was given pain killers. the doctor authorized him a radiation once only because after the treatment he had blood in his urine and he was not responding. we did not want to cause him no more suffering. we including him decided not to resucitate/entubated him in case that he stopped breathing, so he died surrended of people and friends who love him so much.
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My mum died of brain cancer after the breast cancer has spread. I was her main caregiver and it was really difficult during the last stage - both phyiscally and emotionally. She had a brain hemorrhage - She became weak on right side, lost her speech and she had to be fed using tube feeding. Depending on the location of the tumor in the brain, watch out for any seizure (whether she's not conscious or breaking out in cold sweat). Reassure her constantly - even if she can't respond, hold her hands tightly and let her feel safe. Be very patient with her as her reaction might be slower than usual. Most importantly, give her lots of love as it's your last chance. My mum was constantly fear of abandonment and becoming a burden to us because of her condition. I cared for her to my best ability and let her know how much I love her. It was emotionally draining seeing your loved one dying away. I stil cry when I think of her everyday. It is not easy but you would be glad that you did this for your mum in her last stage. I cared for my mum at home as it was her last wish to be at home during her last days - I learned a lot about taking care of bed-ridden and home nursing when discharging her from hospital. If you need any information on taking care of your mum, please contact me @ lowhuilui@gmail.com. Brain cancer is the hardest to cope with as the patient becomes incapable of the basic daily functioning. Be strong for your mum as she needs you at this point.
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With My Father there was a period of Strong denial then bouts of anger and lashing out ( out of character for him ) thinking people were laughing at him or trying to trick him ( mood swings and confusion).
Then he was in a constant state of fear that maybe he wasn't right with God, but through daily reasurrance he became at peace with that.
Physically he started with sore joints and head aches, then progressed to being week in the legs and not being able to eat much, then he, not much later, Began falling as his legs couldn't hold him any more. After a short period of time he became bed ridden and Thank God for Hospice! he had the best of care and we could enjoy a little more quality time with him....Then there came the time when he couldn't wake up/was no longer alert , that was the beginning of the end for him approximately four days later he was gone. I miss him so much, but am also glad he isn't suffering.
I'm not sure if this was the type of info you wanted but this was my experience with my father.
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I am so sorry that you are facing this. I agree, you should speak with your doctor, every cancer and patient is different.
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Although doctors are definitely not gods, annjen, I think it would be worth a try to make an appointment with your mom's doctor so that you can go alone to meet with the doctor and explain to the doctor that, as your mother's caregiver, you would like to know if there are any things that USUALLY happen in a medical case like your mother's. Of course every case is different in some way or another but the doctor may be able to tell you some things to expect. How is your mother dealing with this cancer? And how are you doing? At least you both know you cannot fight this cancer and win so I would say the best thing you can do is keep your mother as comfortable as possible and both of you make the most of sharing the time she has left. Have you had a good relationship with your mother throughout the years? If so, this will help. If your mother is still well enough to talk, be sure you have asked her as many questions as you can think of regarding her life history. I am so glad that I have recorded many tapes of my mother (when she was well) talking about her life and the lives of many relatives long gone. She enjoyed reminiscing and our whole family will benefit in the future from the recordings. But perhaps you have already done this or your mother will not be up to doing this now. Allowing your mother to talk/display any and all emotions she is feeling may be the best thing you can do for her. May you be granted strength and wisdom to get through this well.
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I am so sorry for your loss tennessee...
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When J EFF first started having symtoms,he went to a doctor who gave him drugs for an bladder infection.It never cleared up,kept giving him the same drugs for the same infection.He did not want to insult the guys education.I wanted him to go to another doctor as most men he was hardheaded.After so long he was peeing straight blood,that scared him so he finally went to that other doctor-it was too late-the cancer had set in.The reason they ignored his symtoms was because he was 40 and a nonsmoker. Bladder cancer is a 80 year old smokers cancer they claim.They told him if he had been treated earlier they could have saved him.We did catch it Jeff did not want to offend anyones education. He wanted to give doctor no. 1 respect,it cost him his life and my baby her daddy and me the love of my life.He did not want to wear a bag on his side for urine at 40,so he went to VANDERBILT in N ASHVILLE to have his bladder removed,thankfully it was not on his prostate. He was very concerned about his prostate.The doctor or surgeon in this case told us your only 40,prostate is cancer free as of now we are leaving it in tact.He told him if he was a 80 year old man that is just part of the precedure,because sex is not as important to a 80 year old man as a 40 year old man.We all agreed for GODS sake, leave the prostate.It was a all day surgery,Jeff gave me instrutions to ask about his prostate on every call from the head nurse. They check in every hour or so,I asked about the prostate each and every time.Everything is fine,prostate is fine.After the surgery,the Surgeon came in,I spoke to him,surgery went great,prostate was cancer free,it is great.He told us we should be back to having normal life in about 6 weeks.Jeff was more concerned about that prostate than the bladder.He went in for a follow-up visit after that 6 weeks-things weren't working as they should.Guess what....No prostate.It had been removed,gone-taken-it had no cancer.the surgeon even told us it was there and healthy,we agreed upon it and it was discussed to leave it,but it was gone.Those doctors or interns or whoever-you can't go back and watch them every minute-they castrated my mate.Just another OOPS. He was handling the bladder cancer thing alright,but the stolen prostate was different in his eyes.He felt stripped of his manhood,he said he might as well be a girl,he felt like I would leave him,he tried to run me off.He couldn't run me off if he tried.Our relationship was on a different level now,I told him he needed to focus on our daughter growing up. I told him that missing prostate did not make him less of a man,but thats not how men feel.He was more upset about this than anyone would ever know-men don't talk to men about these things-men don't vent like women.He was very angrey and he felt useless.I just wanted him alive,I thought the anger would make the cancer grow faster,Even when it entered his brain,he was still mad about the stolen prostate,and our stolen life. The doctor that put the screw s in his head to give him the radiation told us that the procedure had a99.9 sucess rate of destroying the cancer;We were full of hope again;again we were told the precedure was a sucess and his brain was cancer free.We were the happiest people imaginable,our prayers were answered,so we thought.We planned a trip to carry our daughter to Disney World,we made a appointment with his cancer doctor to get the o.k.-They wanted to run a MRI before we left.That visit we went in the happiest family in the world and came out the saddest;We were told the cancer in his brain was big and mighty.The doctors exact words were 'YOU fought a good fight,you need to go home and prepare to die.'we walked out in shock,We never made it to Disney World as a family,instead I sat in the next room as Jeff was telling his 4 year old daughter, that daddy would be dying soon,daddy will not get to see you grow up..Our daughter is 10 now and those words still ring in her ears.Why does bad things happen to good people,I don't know. Why did the surgeon tell us his prostate was intact when it wasn't-don't know.Why did they tell us his brain was cancer free and the procedure was a sucess-don't know the answer to that either.He died about 2-3 weeks after that .We miss him just like it was yesterday. I know none of this will help you,but my point is Doctors are not GOD even though sometimes they think so..They are just plain ole people with plain ole jobs paying their bills like the rest of us. Love on your mama because I know she is scared too..
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My experence with doctors are they can not accurately tell you anything.A good doctor is as hard to find as a good lawyer.Malpractice insurance wouldn't be so high-A little education does not mean your God. you know your mom better than anyone.Not everyone graduates top in there class.
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I really think that the person who can really answer those question accurately is the doctor. so ask him sorry to hear that. my brother's nephew how is just 6 years old has a cancerous brain tumor which it was removed and he is fine now although his aunt has to accompany him at school during lunch break to avoid being hit on his head by classmates because they play like crazy. I know that this is very different from what you are experiment now. I know that first the person don't want to accept her sickness(denial) second: depression, third: accepting the sickness.
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Thank you for your help. My mother already is saying her legs are weak. She feels the tumor growing too.
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My mate had bladder cancer ,turned brain cancer.I have a difficult time talking about what we went through.He was only in his forties,we had one child.He did tons of chemo,they put screws in his head for radiation.He lost his ability to talk.He would use the wrong word trying to comunicate even through he still knew what he was trying to say.He had seizures.He lost his ability to walk.He stopped eatting and his body slowly started to shut down.Even though he could not comunicate he would know if I was there or not. he told me he could feel it growing in his head and that it was about to take him over.Hospice had him every drug imagineable for the pain.I have lost my mom and dad,but the saddest day of my life was when I lost him.Every part of your brain has function,so it all depends on where it is,how big it is and how fast it is growing.
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I appreciate your comment. she is already with hospice. I asked for some quidance they don't tell anything because they do not know. I was hoping someone else has been through this and would be able to help me. Thank you again.
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that really depends on where the tumor is and what parts of the brain it is affecting. It is possible she will lose her language. I would encourage you to get some hospice help. It is a benefit under medicare. They can give you quidence and support. take care ...
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