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and what would you do to protect yourself

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jadwiga: Who holds her Power of Attorney? They would be the individual who would be responsible for making sure that money goes to the care of your mother. I personally do not understand why your sister decided to take the $11,000 and hold on to it. It should have gone back into your mothers bank account.

The only scenario where I can see this happening is in the case that you borrowed money from you parents, possibly frequently and when you did at least repay the $11,000 your sister felt she had to take the money otherwise you would have eventually been given the money again and told to keep it.

Your parents were loving and well meaning but I too have dealt with this situation. My mother was the "soft touch" who rather than argue would say.."just keep it" to which my sister would grab it back and keep it. It is true that my mother had the right to give her money any way she wanted, but that is unfair to the other siblings and it is unfair to your parents as well. After loaning each of you money, now your mother finds herself unable to live. Now you want to recoup the money you paid back to her. This to me is a sad situation, if your sister has the money she needs to make sure your mother is taken care of with that money, but each one of you that have taken money from your parents, needs to now cough up the money you took and kept and make sure your mother is well taken care of!
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when dad was still alive,dad and mom lend me money which i gave back $11000 the rest they told me to keep, i wrote the check to them both, and they told me to keep it also, but my sister took that check and said she will keep it for them. now that dad is gone, mom is 91 years old, and her social security is not enough for her to survive,i am mom's 24/7 care taker no one helps out of my 2 sisters, financialy or contributing their time, my parents did give money to both of them as well, but my question is since my other sister is holding on to mom's $11000 and mom needs that for her care is my sister legally obligated to return that the money for mom's care? she dosen't take care of mom at all,i have been the only care taker for our mother.
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POA because they have the power even if it is unethical. An executor has no control until after death.
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People are answering a lot of different questions here: there's a bunch of opinions about what's ethical, and there's a bunch of stories about abuses of the executor position, and there's some confusion about what rosie6700 is actually asking or what's behind the question. The answer to the general question "Can an executor borrow money from a parent?" is, yes they can: pretty much any negotiated arrangement is possible in principle. If the parent is alive, he or she can certainly agree to lend money to a child independent of whether or not that child is named in the will as an executor. If the parent is not alive and the child named as executor is already playing that role, it's incumbent on the executor to manage the estate and to be answerable to all the heirs for any and all transactions. Whether a loan is a good idea or a terrible idea is a different matter. And to do a good job of handling loans within a family or an estate, please think it through involving all parties, get a lawyer to help write a clean, legally binding, mutually acceptable contract, and then follow the contract.
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Wake up daughter! You say your sister did this and that
And that you didn't think it seemed right. What do mean SEEMED? I will be a little harsh and critical here. You knew things were not right. Your mother in bed all day? Really .....You must become assertive . Take the bull by the horns. The minister? Prett soon itwill be a3 ringcircus. You can do it. Get your family to jump inwith both feet.. .Get some real advice sister. Your mom needs you I think.
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No do not borrow any money from the parents or estate! The money is for the care of the parent and in no way shape or form is to be used as a bank account to borrow from.
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No, but if it does happen. Two of my siblings were executors of mom's will. One of them also used to be POA. Both borrowed money. Both are no longer executors of mom's will and also one is no longer POA.. I am now POA and executor of mom's will. Mom's attorney explained to her (and me) anyone who has "borrowed" money from someone's estate should not be an executor or POA and so updates and changes were made.......and now I rest easy knowing everything is as it should be.........
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My 84 year old widowed mother, since 1998, was a very vibrant and church going woman, asked our younger sister (who lives in the same town) to help her with writing out checks (from mother's checking account) to pay her bills. At that time mother was 69 years old) The sister added her name to mother's checking account. We (3 other children) all assume that was a good idea. For what ever reason, the sister started treating mother as if she was disabled - mentally and physically. She asked mother to allow her to be the "Power of Attorney", and "Executor" of her Will. As open minded as we should be, we all thought that was a good idea, even though it was not shared with the other children that she was going to to this until it was done. Since then mother, while living on her own became very dependant upon the sister - who also has a day job. The sister over the course of years would tell mother that no one cared about her and she would take care of her. This of course went on for years and mother began depressed, would stay in bed 24/7 waiting for the sister to bring breakfast, lunch and dinner. Each of the other siblings would question that mother it too young to stay in bed day and night. I said I believe mother is depressed and should get out to see people. But the sister did not pursue the suggestions. Each of the siblings would do what we could - I, who live long distance would travel to see her and would notice how mother would talk about each of the children - as if we did not care for her. We feld sad because that was not true. Each of us would send money or come in town to visit frequently. I even considered moving in with my mother to help take care of her. I tried that but it did not work when my sister saw that I was placed on mother's home owner's insurance. The sister went to the insurance agency and threatened them with the "power of attorney" to remove my name - they did so. That was a little odd. The sister moved mother in with her and we thought that was a good idea. We would come and visit, help with groceries, etc. But when asked about mother's finances and budget, the sister would say "we don't have a budget". I say a red flag. Mother draws social security, but the sister will not disclose any of mother's financials. Mother's memory was showing signs of dimentia. She would repeat questions, etc.

Mother has a car, it has disappeared. The sister, just a few months ago, had her pastor move into mother's house and did not tell any of us about that until each of us received letters 1 months after the pastor moved in. And by the way he is not paying rent! When I called my sister long distance and asked her about it, she said "it was none of my business" and "I have no say so in the matter" - that was between she and mother. I became livid and want to do something about this as soon as possible, but don't want to cause my mother any pain.

It is 15 years later (present time), and my sister does not offer to tell us about any of mother's affairs. She leaves mother alone a lot and the level of care is not good in terms of hygiene, etc. I feel mother is dwindling away.

I just visited her on Thanksgiving - it was a chilly welcome from my sister, but I had to see my mother. She (mother had the greatest smile) and was very happy to see me. She wants to come and visit me for 2 weeks. I want her much longer. But the sister doesn't think it's a good idea "because she's too old".

While I have written and said much, my gut feeling is that my sister is abusing the estate of my mother and is not caring for her. Is there a way to have two "Power of Attorneys". I and another sibling feel something needs to be done and soon. What do you think. Always want to do the right thing for all.

sps5932
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NO! The executor is supposed to pay the bills and distribute the estate. Creating a loan to yourself would be a conflict of interest.
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As executor of the estate, no.. absolutely not. .
As for the trust, it depends entirely on how the trust is worded. Each trust is a unique document and must be carried out as it is written, or amended.
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Why would you want to?
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Absolutely not! I am executrix of my father's will. I am being sued by my stepmother's POA who squandered HER assets, then came after my father's assets. He is home free because she won't ask him for an accounting but I had to prove where I spent every penny. I came up clean. But he got away with it. DO NOT take a penny. It will bite you in the a** if you do!
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Not if you want to stay out of jail. You being Executrix has a legal fiduciary responsibility that does not allow you to "borrow" from your wards. How would you like it if your bank just "borrowed" some money from your account without your knowledge. No, get your money from somewhere else. Earn it or borrow it from a bank or loan shark. Merry Christmas!
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Typically this is avoided. Please check with an attorney before attempting this. It might be possible for the trust to make such a loan but it would likely require clear paperwork and a competitive interest rate. It should look on the surface like it is a good deal for the trust, not an advantageous situation for the Trustee.
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It depends on what the document states...executors have no power until parents death......trustee manages the trust. As the person said before me, generally, the asets are for the benefit of the beneficiary stated in the document... not the trustee. I am not an attorney...double check.
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No. Your duty is to act on your parent's interest, not your own.
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