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My husband is 82 and has been diagnosed with dementia for the last ten years. He can still dress with assistance, shower with assistance, and can interact pleasantly with dog walkers, neighbors, etc. for a few minutes at a time. Lately, every thing hurts him. If he bumps his arm even sightly, if my hands are too cold, if he feels a slightly rough spot on his eyeglasses, he reacts as if it's a HUGE deal. I can't tell if his skin has become super-sensitive, or he's just looking for attention. I am with him 24/7 and he gets upset if he can't see me when I'm in another room.

Mom would always say "It hurts." when the blood pressure cuff was used.
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Brandee again

Mom was never screaming or moaning in pain.

She was able to verbalize "It hurts" and used that for every discomfort.

Mom would say "I'm cold" a lot and it was almost a brain loop. We kept her room at 82 degrees.
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We had this.

Mom had fewer words for it was easier for her to say "I'm cold" if there was a puff of wind or "It hurts."

Instead of saying "There is a rough spot on my glasses." She could verbalize "It hurts."

Instead of saying "I bruised my arm." She would say "It hurts."
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Thank you, everyone! All your answers helped a great deal. This website has been so helpful in making me understand what's going on (or not) in his brain.
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Llamalover47 Oct 11, 2025
You're welcome.
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The nurses and doctors when my husband was in the hospital told me to expect extra sensitivity. Now I've been dealing with this for several years, I think it's because their brain is not functioning effectively, and it is difficult to process any stimulus, like touch, excessive noise, too much commotion, bright light.

And it is likely that he is needy for your attention, or at least to see where you are, as he is feeling more vulnerable. He's learning to rely on you and it might be scary when he doesn't feel that you are there. My husband is very needy, but in a different way. He is calm and quiet when I am out of sight, but as soon as I walk in the room, he starts yelling for help. Seeing me triggers him to "need" something, even if he doesn't know what. And he's very sensitive to any personal cares. Yells like he's being tortured during diaper changes, and pulls his hand away when I try to trim his nails or wash his hands. He's scared of getting wet or being touched.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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I am caregiver to my 99 year old MIL. She has serious dementia. The mind is a funny thing. As cells die, synapses fail to connect properly and in fact can make a wrong connection easily. If you read this or other articles on the connection between the mind and body, you can understand more easily why things happen to the elderly whose brain cells are dying and why no two people react in the same way. There are so many places where the connections can misfire or not fire and there is no way to predict how the digressing brain will be expressed outwardly to others. My mother in law has lost her ability to question things, perceive any information spoken, seen, felt, understanding of time, memory of more than a few seconds and is docile. It is so sad and feels like I have lost who she is which is so much the truth. She does not know that she ate something one minute ago. She has not clue if she is hungry, tired, needs anything. Any thing she says is not connected to anything else. If i do not initiate things, she would sit all day and say nothing. She smiles and seems happy all the time. I suppose she could have ended up like some others who are angry all the time and it makes no sense. Honestly, she is just gone. I could not put her in a nursing home becasuse they would go off and forget about her and she would die without care. (That is my own opinion in this day of lack of employees in so many nursing homes). I will keep her home until the end. She is losing her ability to walk with her walker, stand up to transition, etc. I may need a lift soon. Here is the article.:https://stories.tamu.edu/news/2018/01/05/how-do-synapses-work/
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It's a processing thing. Their brains no longer process incoming information in appropriate ways. It's not for attention, it's not exaggeration, it's what their brains are telling them.
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IrisLover: Garner knowledge on the disease by reading the book, 'The 36 Hour Day.'
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All rational ability to parse out what is happening in your mind, in your life, in your body is removed. So yes, your reactions are confused. Confusion leads to fright. And there is disinhibition added to all of this, so you act loudly and clearly about even the smallest concern. What you are seeing is normal behavior in an abnormal condition of mind/body.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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My sister has Alzheimer's and lately she is responding to everything with huge displays of emotion. It could be the TV does not work or she lost her purse and she sobs uncontrollably. Meanwhile her dog died a few weeks ago, and although she was upset it is nothing like when she loses something at home. Just saying all this to point out there is no rhyme or reason why stuff happens for someone with this disease. Best you can do is try and help them through it.
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I don't know about normal, but I think it's fairly common. Whether it's because a person with dementia's world shrinks to the confines of their own body that they become hypersensitive, or that their neural pathways are damaged so that normal sensations are interpreted as discomfort, I don't know.
It's also common for someone with dementia to become fixated on things, so that would account for some of the behaviour, such as worrying about a tiny spot on his glasses.
Being with your husband 24/7 is a lot for you to deal with. If you are able to get respite, please use it to have some rest. You matter just as much as your husband.
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Reply to MiaMoor
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If a little puff of air went in her direction Mom would say she was cold.
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Reply to brandee
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Our brains are quite amazing and control everything in our bodies, so I can only imagine that a broken brain can most certainly dictate how one would react to touch, pain or cold.
And your husband just wants to know that you are near even if you're in the other room, and it bothers him when he can't see you. So when you leave the room try telling him where you're going and that you will be back shortly.
I wish you well as you travel this very difficult road with your husband.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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What I found was as the Dementia progresses they get more like small children. When a small child scrapes their knee its like the world is coming to an end seems to be the same for someone suffering from Dementia. My Mom would scream out when her blood pressure was taken.
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