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Wife is incontinent, has stroke induced dementia a fair portion of the day,can barely walk. She wants to sleep all of the time. Talks so soft that I , with my hearing problems, can't hear her most of the time. Her children seemingly do not care nor want to help in any fashion. We have been divorced for 3 years and I have been the only caretaker. My health is deteriorating due to the effects of Agent Orange that I was exposed to in Vietnam. My children have provided a home and any care that I need in Missouri. Their plan is to have me moved in by the 1st or 2nd week of December at the very latest.
I have not been able to get any definitive info from any of the health related State Gov't Departments. HELP an old Veteran out !!! PLEASE !!!

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Seawolf, could you clarify where your wife is? Is she living with you, and will she be moving in to the home in Missouri? Or is she living elsewhere, and independently? I'm not sure if she's moving with you or remaining in another state.

I assume that you've investigated any assistance through the VA?

Has she qualified for Medicaid? If not, have you considered it?

What about Palliative Care, which would provide some level of nursing care, and I believe could provide a home health aide as well. It's not 24/7 though, and it seems as though she might need that level of care.

I assume she's not getting any other home health care through a script from one of her doctors? Did she have any after the stroke? Have you spoken with her neurologist or other doctor regarding scripting for some type of home care, including therapy?

Have you contacted the county health department to ask for a social worker to help find sources of assistance?

How long ago was the stroke, and what remedial care did she receive afterward? What was her prognosis? Is she at home or in a SNF?

Not necessarily providing direct care, but possible suggestions: a stroke support group, generally through local hospitals. In our area, a social worker conducts one. I've never been to a meeting, so I don't know what takes places. But it might help to connect with others who can offer insight into what's available.

I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time, especially with Agent Orange effects. It seems trite to say this given the effects of Agent Orange, but thank you for your service.
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Call Adult Protective Services APS and ask them to do a welfare check. Explain to them you are her ex husband and are concerned. Tell them you are her only help but that you'll be moving out of state dec.1 . They will be legally bound to check on her ASAP. Perhaps remove your items from the property prior to them coming to the house. They may declare an emergency and get her into a hospital.
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