My mother developed depression and anxiety when she turned 70. She is now 76 and the signs are that she also is developing dementia. My father is in hospital and I have been caring for my mother for the last 6 months or so, with occasional help from my sister. I wake up every morning, happy and positive and within 10 minutes of interacting with my mother I want to kill her or myself, or throw things. My anger is out of control. Then I cry and then I'm guilty for the rest of the day for shouting at my ill mother. I know it's not her fault but underneath her illness, I honestly think she does know what she's doing and is putting on an act.
I'm angry because all my neighbours and her friends get the good mother... she's chatty and smiles and is fairly normal. As soon as the door closes, I get the depressed ill, non communicative mother. I hate her for it. I can't think of another word. I get her criticising me, ignoring me, talking negatively about me, but then she expects me to do everything. Because everyone else sees the good mother, they don't understand why I'm struggling.
But why can't she try for me?