The minute my mother wakes up the bullsh$t begins. I am fine and even may feel pretty good, UNTIL she wakes up and then the hell starts. My blood pressure must go up sky high from the overall annoyance and aggravation that only she can create in me. Yes, it is my reaction, but after 60 years of dealing with her and 15 living with her it is a wonder I have any sanity left. She has always been this way and growing up was dysfunction central. So the days starts with me getting her to the toilet then getting her washed up. She gets super annoyed when I am trying to wash her face and complains the water is too cold, the water is too hot. Then I want to wash her hands and she is getting pissed off and then the stupid questions start, why this, why that and not in a nice way. She is angry all the time and has zero patience and can NEVER once let things go. She has to comment on stupid stuff ALL THE TIME. So by this time I am really angry and totally annoyed beyond belief. Thus starts another day with crazy Tessa. I really cannot stand her.
You matter in this situation and you are sounding very burned out. She needs professional care and it is okay for you to place her where she will receive the care she needs.
One thing that you have going for you is that since she is already always angry you know that she will be angry about the facility, but nothing new there.
Hugs!
Please place her in a care home and get your own life back. I’m close to your age, I’ll be 57 in December. I often wonder how many decent years I have left?? Please don’t continue to be your Mother’s personal slave. In fact since she can’t take care of her basic needs like hygiene why isn’t she in a care facility now?
You sound pretty much the way I did. Mom is now at my brother’s house. I did burn out. It didn’t end well. I have BP issues too. I am going to second what isthisreallyreal just told you. It’s time to make arrangements to place her somewhere.
Yes, we become miserable and even resentful. I hated feeling resentment or being bitter. Not a good place to be. Not good for the parent either. No one wins.
Do you feel taken for granted? I did. The chronic complaints and anxiety was extremely hard also.
I really hope that you find peace and joy soon. I don’t think you will regret not being a primary caregiver for your mom. It’s hard making the transition. Transitional times are never easy. In the long run it is for the best though.
Best wishes to you. We are here to support you along the way and afterwards. Take care. Hugs!
There IS a way out. Start examining and considering other living arrangements and make your choices wisely.
Good luck!
Are you living in her home, or she in yours?
Whatever happens to my mom is out of my hands now. I did my best for her for nearly 15 years in my home. Nothing was good enough towards the end. I couldn’t please her no matter what I did.
It started out fairly well. It gets old giving up your entire life. It becomes very hard emotionally and physically. Hard to be exhausted all the time.
You are going to burn out. Ask anyone here on this forum how I resisted too. I thought it was my duty forever. I grew more and more resentful.
Please start to make a plan for a facility for your mom. Even if you have help at home you have no privacy or peace. Best wishes to you.