My mother is always asking where is my sig other if she doesn't see him. I tell her where he is, which he is some where in the house, but I see the relieved that he is close by!
It might be less annoying for you if you say automatically where you have been. ‘Just been to check the post’ or ‘went to wash my hands’ or ‘timer sounded on the washing machine cycle’. It could be an easy habit that helps both of you - less annoying for you, more sharing for her. Then she can imagine what's going on, even if she can't see.
I can’t speak to the dementia because my mom doesn’t have any issues with that. Has she always been inquisitive about your coming and going or is this relatively new?
My mother was always nosey so her being inquisitive didn’t surprise me when I cared for her. It was a monitoring in a sense so she could try to control or manipulate.
That was my situation. Your situation is entirely different. Who knows why? Maybe it’s because she is trying to hold on or remember an exact moment. Maybe it’s her way of trying to be involved in your life. Others with experience with dementia can offer more help.
LinArce My aunt, 93 dementia, does this. She is in her chair and when I walk past her into the kitchen “where are you going” or if I am in the kitchen “what are you doing”. I just answer and keep on trucking. I think she’s lonely. She wants everyone to sit with her which I do but only when I want to. I don’t live with her so I can imagine if I did how hard that would be. I do enjoy visiting with her and will sit with her for a couple of hours but she wants me to look at her and not tv or mail or my phone. If I need to look at my phone I’ll say “let’s see what niece is up to”. “Oh just look at how cute her grands are!” In other words include her in my life. When I first started taking care of her finances or medical issues, I would stay over a few days at a time. If I went out she would want to know where I was going. I resented her asking and would be very vague in my replies. She learned that wasn’t going to work with me and began to say, “take your time, be careful”. I think it’s harder when it’s your mom. My niece, who lives near by, says that every time she walks past her she wants niece to greet aunt as if it’s the first time she has seen her. Niece keeps her cameras in order so she’s focused on her phone to see if the cameras are working, walking back and forth. “Oh hello aunt. How are you today”. 4 or 5 times in an hour or less. “What’s your hurry” aunt will ask. Mumble mumble mumble niece will say. Lol Ain’t it Grand! 😱
My mother is always asking where is my sig other if she doesn't see him. I tell her where he is, which he is some where in the house, but I see the relieved that he is close by!
My mother was always nosey so her being inquisitive didn’t surprise me when I cared for her. It was a monitoring in a sense so she could try to control or manipulate.
That was my situation. Your situation is entirely different. Who knows why? Maybe it’s because she is trying to hold on or remember an exact moment. Maybe it’s her way of trying to be involved in your life. Others with experience with dementia can offer more help.
Best wishes to you.
My aunt, 93 dementia, does this. She is in her chair and when I walk past her into the kitchen “where are you going” or if I am in the kitchen “what are you doing”. I just answer and keep on trucking.
I think she’s lonely. She wants everyone to sit with her which I do but only when I want to. I don’t live with her so I can imagine if I did how hard that would be. I do enjoy visiting with her and will sit with her for a couple of hours but she wants me to look at her and not tv or mail or my phone. If I need to look at my phone I’ll say “let’s see what niece is up to”. “Oh just look at how cute her grands are!” In other words include her in my life.
When I first started taking care of her finances or medical issues, I would stay over a few days at a time. If I went out she would want to know where I was going. I resented her asking and would be very vague in my replies. She learned that wasn’t going to work with me and began to say, “take your time, be careful”.
I think it’s harder when it’s your mom.
My niece, who lives near by, says that every time she walks past her she wants niece to greet aunt as if it’s the first time she has seen her. Niece keeps her cameras in order so she’s focused on her phone to see if the cameras are working, walking back and forth. “Oh hello aunt. How are you today”. 4 or 5 times in an hour or less.
“What’s your hurry” aunt will ask. Mumble mumble mumble niece will say. Lol
Ain’t it Grand! 😱