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To be blunt,I feel the nurcing home want's my 88 yr old Aunt.
Here's the story,
Aunt was living in her own home. 3 weeks ago my Aunt went to the hospital for a urinary track infection. I'm my Aunt's DPOA. The hospital told me that they feel my Aunt needs to go into a nurcing home temp- for rehab for her to get stronger for her to go home. I made an agreement with the Hospital & nurcing home for her to go for 20 days of rehab.

I must say these nurcing homes are money hungry/greedy people. The first thing these nurcing homes ask me at the start is "Does she own her own home?". "Is it paid for". My Aunt went to the nurcing home for rehab. Not for good. She is covered under Medicare is paying for this 20 day rehab. I even had nurces ask me if she owns her home and is it paid for. Very uncalled for. There all after her home as greedy as they are. They care more about her home then treating her rehab.
My Aunt only has about $50,000 in her savings.That's her retirement that she saved all her life.I thought why let the nurcing home take all her savings.I thought maybe I could place my Aunt in assisted living for a few months before locking her away in a nurcing home.Give her a little better life before going to a nurcing home is my thoughts.After a 100 days.The nurcing home price is $9000 per month.Assisted living private care is $6000 per month.With my Aunt's savings I could get her a few good months in assisted living before a nurcing home is my idea.
So here I go,
I contacted a assisted living facility.The assisted living facility tells me to let the nurcing home know that the assisted living facility will be coming to evaluate my Aunt."Let the nurcing home know ahead of time that they are coming."So I did.
The day the assisted living facility came to evaluate her.The nurcing home had my Aunt all drugged up.So drugged she couldn't talk or move.The assisted living facility told me my Aunt failed for assisted living .That felt her meds was all messedup.
A week later,
My Aunt's attorney wanted to visit my Aunt to ask her about guardenship.I told the nurcing home that her attorney will be coming to talk with her on that following Monday.That morning the attorney & I went to visit my Aunt to talk with her.My Aunt was very upset & rude told us she didn't want to talk or see anyone.I felt that if the nurcing home said something to my Aunt to make her so upset that morning.
Next,
About a week went buy I decided to contact another assisted living facility .Again they tell me to let the nurcing home know they will be coming to evaluate so I did.The morning of that evaluation.The assisted living people showd up to see my Aunt and the nurcing home was using a body lift to move my Aunt from her bed to her chair. I was told by the assisted living people that my Aunt failed assisted living care because, my Aunt requires a body lift. I was very shocked to hear this. Because, my Aunt never required a body lift before until the day these assisted living people showed up. I feel the nurcing home did this just so my Aunt would fail assisted living.

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Get her out of there as fast as you can before they kill her. Why can't she go back home. A UTI is not a death sentence. If she had transitional care could she live at home with assistance? The nursing home killed my aunt with Haldol because she had a severe reaction to it, but they just kept pushing it down her. I live out of town and her daughter, my cousin is not one to stand up to authority.
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As a cargiver who can't sleep at night, I also find myself online at 2AM, out in the yard with a cigarette at 3 AM, and finally snoozing off at 4AM. I am 62, and I wondered to myself, "Is this the beginning of sundowning?" LOL.
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It so happens that the nurse had been employed by the Pulmonary Dr. present that day, and they did exchange a quick glance. She should surely have known what I had discovered since she had administered the Potassium daily.

I rather imagine they had some words later. Perhaps I should have followed it through. It may have been a hospital error - I'm pretty sure that the Dr. checked on that but did not pass it on to us, if he did.

That Dr. is known to have a poor bedside manner and was quite cool to us in the office visits after he was dismissed from the NH. There was a suspicious spot on chest xrays that we had to follow up for two years with him in his office. Each 6 month visit he loosened up and became quite friendly - even to comparing our black Lab dogs, etc.

My husband was diagnosed with CHF and peripheral neuropathy and had had a quadruple by-pass in 2000, leaving him with some mental problems, like memory loss, etc. But after the entubation and perhaps Potassium overdose, his mental problems turned into vascular dementia. Conversely, his CHF problems seem to have disappeared and BP is lowered. He had been loaded with heart meds which just made him miserable with diarrhea, etc.

We eliminated all of these settling on just a water pill and Armour Thyroid and occasional Ibuprophen as needed for back pain. Oh, yes, and he has spinal stenosis also and had disk surgery back in the 70's.

Main problem now is severe nervousness - just cannot sit still for over five minutes and having sleep difficulties - roaming the house and sleeping in his recliner in the LR most nights. Of course, the worst problem is that he thinks that his wife has disappeared and that I am just a caregiver, who just doesn't give a goll dern about his suffering, which could be so much worse. His Mom spoiled him terribly since he was not expected to live after birth due to both of them having whooping cough - long story. He could do no wrong and was catered to - even by me from day one!

Whine, whine....
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Lois, I'm so glad you managed to slam the brakes on there, with your husband's treatment. The thing is, one of the side effects of too much potassium can be cardiac arrest; and it rather sounds as if what went on was a major prescribing error. I wish I'd been a fly on the wall at that meeting! - could you tell which one of them in particular was thinking "oops…" :)

All's well that ends well. Well done for speaking up and stepping in.
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About seven years ago my husband, recovering from severe pneumonia plus a blood infection and having been on a breathing machine for a week, was placed in a nursing home for therapy, etc.

I visited him every day from 9-5 and therefore observed most of his medication delivery, etc. He was given a big purple pill 8 times a day. This pill was not taken peacefully - he seemed to know that it made him feel different and almost refused to swallow it. The saliva just drooled from his mouth afterwards and he became very belligerent - not his usual action.

He had been restrained in the hospital and was watched all through the night while there, for being aggressive.

I asked what the medication was and they said it was a potassium supplement. I went home that night and looked it up on my computer and found that there were side effects from taking too much of this pill.

It was a Friday afternoon and I informed the nurse that he was not to take that medication and made sure that our son, who was visiting that night kept them from administering it.

It all developed in a meeting of the Dr., nurse, administrator, social worker and the head of the PT dept. against my daughter and me.. It was scary, believe me.

The Dr spoke first, saying that he could not believe that one potassium pill could cause all this trouble. The nurse spoke up exclaiming that he was getting 8 pills a day! Dead silence ensued... No one said a word. OK, the meeting broke up - the medication was decreased. The next day one of the PT aides told me after his group session that she had noticed a great change in him! Really?!

Later that day, I took him in his wheelchair for a walk down by the Social Worker's office. She asked me how he was and was I satisfied with the outcome of the meeting? I said that I was since his behavior had improved, but it would have been nice if someone - anyone - had said that I was right and they were glad that I had advocated for him, etc.. She just smiled sadly and hoped he would get better soon.

I'm sure that everyone there was worried that I would take the matter further and there would be a big ruckus, etc. sigh..

That's the way it went. CYA, everyone, CYA.. Don't admit to any wrong doing by anyone, beginning at the hospital with original Dr's orders..
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Use your mother's money to purchase your mother some nice things she can use in the nursing home. A rising recliner, a big screen TV with wireless head phones, a tall dresser that does not use much floor space, a pretty sturdy lamp, audiobooks, a digital photo frame, a CD player or Ipod for her music, a nice quilt that is washable, bed jackets, a memory foam mattress topper or maybe an adjustable memory foam bed and frame, new glasses, a Kindle reader if she reads (you can get magazines on them also). $50,000 will be gone fast, then she will still have those things to keep her comfortable. Check with the nursing home and see what is ok to bring in for her. Then check with Medicaid and see what she is able to have in savings (not much).

I have worked in mental health facilities where people live, and clients have found these comforts useful.

Also, check with someone about how they convert the home to money. Maybe you are able to sell it, maybe if you lived there caring for her you have so rights to it. I do not know about this part of the legal issues.
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I agree with kmonksmsn, contact the local Ombudsman, you need outside help. If her doctor can help, contact him, but make sure he's not affiliated with the nursing home. My fathers doctor was. Question the medication shes on, and make sure its necessary. My father was put on a medication that didn't help, so they took him off it and tried something else. They still had old medication on his charts as being given as per needed. When I questioned why would you still possibly give him a med that doesn't work, I was answered by the doctor "Because I'm the attending physician, that's why" I later found out that the doctors get a great kick back for prescribing this med to nursing homes. Possibly you can have your aunt reevaluated by another home when shes up already, and you be there. Don't warn them ahead that someones coming to evaluate her. I feel once these homes get a very elderly person in there, their goal is to not have them leave. I went through this with my mother over 5 years ago, after a lot of arguing I insisted she go home, and shes been living at home for over five years now, doing fine. Keep fighting for your aunt, good luck..
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The local Ombudsman is a good resource, if you are concerned about a SNF. The ombudsman program is administered by each state unusual under the State Department of Health Services. They are trained to advocate for residents of skilled nursing and assisted living facilities.

If you feel that the SNF is sabotaging the evaluation of your aunt by the assisted living facility, make a point of being there for the evaluation.
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Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or Bureau of Senior Services. There are in home services she may qualify for. Does your aunt have the same physician in the nursing home as she had when she was living at home? If not you may want to obtain a list of her medications and have her regular physician to review them. If you think the nursing home doesn't have your aunt's best interests in mind, you can contact your local long-term care ombudsman and ask if they can review your aunts situation to determine if she is receiving the proper care. You may find that your aunt has declined and that nursing home placements is best. If you have not attended a care plan meeting, then you need to do so; contact the care plan coordinator at the nursing home. You have every right to know everything about your aunt's condition and care she is receiving. I agree, the nursing home should not be asking if she owes her home or if she has a mortgage. That may play into it if she is a permanent resident in the nursing home, but it would be the long term care Medicaid agency that would be asking these questions.
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Not all nurses are as you have experienced. Warehousing people use to be a thing. It use to be , before President R.R., closed all the Mental Facilities in the country. There they had their own community's where they had bakeries, etc., everything that was needed to survive & work, & feel useless; then all were dumped in to the system to survive. That is what you get to deal with now.

Frustrating as it is, as I said, not all nurses are that way. All of it has become a multi million $ business. (as you have experienced) I don't like it but it is.

I would get to adult productive service in your area & get a list of information in your area to deal with this issue.
From a 50 plus year nurse who cares. Don't make it more complicated then it is.
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Dogabone, I appreciate your remarks about wanting to use your aunt's money to prolong good quality of life for her as long as possible; and I see what you mean about her having a better chance of that in ALF rather than this nursing home. Especially if it turns out the nursing home really is as profit-driven as it sounds.

But I agree that you're probably on a hiding to nothing. What I'd like you to know is that whatever happens to your aunt, it's not your fault. Who can help a very determined elder who won't let them act on her behalf? She prevented you. If her savings and assets are used up on nursing home fees that she wouldn't have needed if she'd listened to you before… well, when all's said and done, whose fault is that?

Now. It could be that the NH is cynically dosing her before interviews, or making her out to be more severely disabled than she really is. I'd still be shocked, but we read of worse things in the papers, don't we. But the thing is, you don't have to go to rehab after treatment for a plain old u.t.i. - so I suspect your aunt's physical condition had got very much worse than you realised, quite possibly because she hid it from you. It may be that her health is declining sharply, but naturally. Have you been able to speak to her doctor about it?

Also, unless this NH has a truly terrible reputation, it wouldn't have to go to such questionable lengths to get new residents. Do you have any concerns about how the staff there treat your aunt otherwise? - is she clean, properly dressed, well fed? Is her room nice? Do people speak to her kindly and respectfully?
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Personally I don't feel a lot of this is the nursing homes business. Yes I am sure they are trying to insure that you Aunt stays at their facility I would treat like anything else I would show unexpectedly have others show up to see how your Aunt is truly being treated. Make sure that document each instance that it appears that she is not being treated correctly or safely. The body lift why was it used that day and has it been used since? They could be mismanaging her medicine since you found her on at least 2 occasions where it appears that medicine as not provided correctly and no notification was provided to you before or after of any problems previously accounting for the difference in behavior this could be unhealthy for her. Please make sure that she is safe. You can not be too careful in this regard.
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Knowing well your previous posts, she is not a candidate for ALF, so sorry. She needs the NH, which is a hard thing to accept, but it is a reality. You can't save the money, you can only save your Aunt, so give the NH her five years of financial records like they asked for , and get her on Medicaid if you can. You had previously mentioned she was missing a bunch of money, and she had you take $600 a week from the bank. Medicaid won't like this. I'm sorry, but all the promises she made about leaving you the house and the money are not going to happen. Dogabone, you tried really hard, more than most people would. More than family did. Your reward is in Heaven, not on Earth.
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