You've all been very helpful on this subject, I now have a fuller picture, filled in from another family member. My MIL, 80, is a lifelong hypochondriac. She goes to the ER, taken by my BIL, at least once a month since I've known her, 10 years or so. In August, she had open heart surg. for a dissected aorta. She had a small stroke right after surgery, lost her sense of taste (temporarily) and became incontinent. She is in a rehab facility but refusing rehab. BIL says he wants to "honor his mother's wishes". She wishes to die. But she's not dying of anything. My husband and I have offered some suggestions for treatment, I have a friend who is a gerontologist who practices at the center where she is, offered to follow up on paperwork, etc. He keeps talking about "malpractice" and that the doctors are doing things that are "actionable"...i.e., they are trying to treat his mother, not neglect her. She says she wants to starve herself to death and is refusing food and all meds except for pain. (what pain? she has a UTI). My husband wants me and us to back out of the situation and let the cards fall where they may...but this lady could live for YEARS in a debilitated state, and I don't want someone to turn around and say that we are in any way then responsible for her care and or upkeep when she's made this bed herself, with the help of her son. Can I ethically walk away from this situation? I appreciate all the wisdom on this board and really want your input.