Daughter is now 53 and shows no signs for the two of us to unite. In Apr. 2005 I attended a 40th birthday party for her and her husband that was hosted by his mother. My daughter was kind and caring to me. In June 2005, she came into my yard and accused me of giving her 30 years of bitterness and being in shock I couldn't respond. She told me this after my husband and her father passed away in 2001.
A few yrs. later she divorced her husband, left the state, remarried again and brainwashed her 3 kids not to contact me in any form. Told all our mutual friends and relatives not to give me any info about her life. To date I have no way to contact my grandchildren and no one will give me any info on them or her. When she lived in my state she was charged with embezzling from her employer and when she left the state she skipped out on a student loan. Her father had mental issues for many, many years and he recognized his own traits in her and was concerned with her mental issues. In her early 20's the previous husband took her to a Dr. and told me that she was diagnosed as Bipolar but I don' have anything to actually prove that.
My concern now is this something that is genetic from her father and will it get worse in time? I would like to reach out to my grandkids and tell them that they have been misinformed by their mother and they can reach me at any time.
Its not fair. It stinks. But there’s nothing I can do about it. My newest grandson will never know us as his grandparents. I expected as much due to our DIL’s feelings. But, I don’t let it get me down. I don't try to insinuate myself in their lives. It is what it is. “what could have or should have been” is not in the picture. I digest it and move on.
There is a law for grandparents, it is called grandparents rights and it is basically visitation. You would have to sue your daughter and she would have to prove that the grandchildren would not be safe with you. Not a pleasant way to see your grands but it is a way. 13 years with no contact may be claimed as proof that you didn't care about them, just my opinion.
Does their biological father know where they are? Does he have contact? Maybe he can help you see them.
If daughters father had mental issues than u should understand that people with these problems are not in controll of themselves. I have a cousin with BiPolar. She was in her 40s before she was diagnosed. She won't take her meds because they dope her up. What your daughter did sounds like a maniac episode. She could not help it.
If your grandchildren have lived with her, they r probably well aware that Mom has mental issues. But you never put her down, she is still their mother. If asked why your estranged be honest. Your daughter accused u of causing her bitterness. You have no idea what u did to cause her outburst. Don't try to defend yourself. Just let them ask questions and answer them. Be careful if daughter ever contacts you.
Maybe also keeping your phone number listed in the telephone book, or otherwise be "searchable" for grandkids wanting to look you up in the future?
How old are your grandchildren?