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Daughter is now 53 and shows no signs for the two of us to unite. In Apr. 2005 I attended a 40th birthday party for her and her husband that was hosted by his mother. My daughter was kind and caring to me. In June 2005, she came into my yard and accused me of giving her 30 years of bitterness and being in shock I couldn't respond. She told me this after my husband and her father passed away in 2001.


A few yrs. later she divorced her husband, left the state, remarried again and brainwashed her 3 kids not to contact me in any form. Told all our mutual friends and relatives not to give me any info about her life. To date I have no way to contact my grandchildren and no one will give me any info on them or her. When she lived in my state she was charged with embezzling from her employer and when she left the state she skipped out on a student loan. Her father had mental issues for many, many years and he recognized his own traits in her and was concerned with her mental issues. In her early 20's the previous husband took her to a Dr. and told me that she was diagnosed as Bipolar but I don' have anything to actually prove that.


My concern now is this something that is genetic from her father and will it get worse in time? I would like to reach out to my grandkids and tell them that they have been misinformed by their mother and they can reach me at any time.

Moody, this is very sad. My son and DIL recently moved 40 minutes away. If I see my infant grandson once every couple of months, I’m lucky. My DIL doesn’t like us, my son says our house is too messy to bring his son here and we have a large, antisocial dog I don’t trust around the baby. My husband has seen his grandson once, 7 months ago.

Its not fair. It stinks. But there’s nothing I can do about it. My newest grandson will never know us as his grandparents. I expected as much due to our DIL’s feelings. But, I don’t let it get me down. I don't try to insinuate myself in their lives. It is what it is. “what could have or should have been” is not in the picture. I digest it and move on.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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First I want to say don't get into the issue with your daughter unless they bring it up, my mom did that after her divorce and it was awful. I wish she would have not said anything.

There is a law for grandparents, it is called grandparents rights and it is basically visitation. You would have to sue your daughter and she would have to prove that the grandchildren would not be safe with you. Not a pleasant way to see your grands but it is a way. 13 years with no contact may be claimed as proof that you didn't care about them, just my opinion.

Does their biological father know where they are? Does he have contact? Maybe he can help you see them.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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moodyblu360 Nov 12, 2018
My daugh. also turned her children against their biological father and I have no idea if he has any contact with them. I have no way to reach him either.
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I agree try Facebook. You can also put their names in the internet. Also, telling relatives you would love to here from them. But don't tell them they have been misinformed. You only know what you have been told. Don't contact if they are under 18.

If daughters father had mental issues than u should understand that people with these problems are not in controll of themselves. I have a cousin with BiPolar. She was in her 40s before she was diagnosed. She won't take her meds because they dope her up. What your daughter did sounds like a maniac episode. She could not help it.

If your grandchildren have lived with her, they r probably well aware that Mom has mental issues. But you never put her down, she is still their mother. If asked why your estranged be honest. Your daughter accused u of causing her bitterness. You have no idea what u did to cause her outburst. Don't try to defend yourself. Just let them ask questions and answer them. Be careful if daughter ever contacts you.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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How powerful is your daughter that she ordered all those people to shun you? And they not only listened to her but believed everything she told them about you? Her embezzlement, skipping out on a loan, possibly being bi-polar and possibly inheriting behaviors from her father aren’t your concern, they’re her’s. Knowing that and possibly trying to use it against her or trying to prove that she has mental/emotional issues will only reinforce her campaign against you and prove to your grandchildren that their mother is right about you. Sadly, if your grandchildren are teenagers and have made no effort to contact you, there might not be much you can do about it. If they believe their mother and don’t trust you, you’d be walking on eggs with them forever. You can ask one of your other relatives to intervene for you. Conduct yourself with grace and be above reproach. By your behavior, show everyone your daughter is wrong.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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This is extremely sad. My first thoughts are maybe letting it be known through the family grapevine that you are open to any contact from grandchildren, and that you bear no ill will to anyone, no ax to grind, just would love to say hi. Low key, no drama about the past (as understandably upset and hurt as you are),

Maybe also keeping your phone number listed in the telephone book, or otherwise be "searchable" for grandkids wanting to look you up in the future?
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moodyblu360 Nov 12, 2018
I am on facebook and tried to get in touch with one of the G'kids as I had some pics that I wanted to send to him, but got no response. So I did not pursue it.
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I would try Facebook to find the grandkids. If you don't know how to use Facebook, ask someone for help with it.
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Reply to polarbear
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How terribly sad.

How old are your grandchildren?
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moodyblu360 Nov 12, 2018
My G'kids are all in the late 20's. They are all married and I have 2 Great Grand kids that I will probably never see. Two live within distance of me and the other one lives out of state, close to his mother. I was hoping that they all would contact me when they became adults to find out what really happened to our relationship. I really don't know what their mother has told all of them. I miss and love them all and it's very sad that there is no connection between all of us.
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