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So... The question is (and I want your opinions on the matter because I've already made a decision) that my estranged brother has asked me if he can live in our Mother's house under the guise of assuming the financial responsibility of her utilities, etc. However, when our Mom lived there (she's with me now) he lived next door/down the street, used her bathroom for years (showering, etc.) and didn't clean up after himself, didn't help Mom with maintaining her property THEN, parked his car in her garage for AT LEAST 20 years without paying a dime of rent or cleaning up the garage, used her washer and dryer (gave her $0 towards water and electricity), ate her food... And now wants to live in her house. By the way, he owns like 4 or 5 other houses, lives in one currently and I'm sure he wants to rent out his house to live in Mom's. He is entitled - has taken Mom's property without permission from her house and I had to get a lawyer to get her things returned. I think this is a huge no-no. Once he would get in, we wouldn't be able to evict him and I simply don't trust the man. Background on why this is a no... I am currently the co-Guardian (with my sister) of my Mother. Unfortunately, for decades my Mom has had a very dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship with our brother who has financially, emotionally and psychologically manipulated Mom. About 5 years ago or so, she was living on her own, alone - but the brother lived within 5 minutes from her. At the time he was married to a doctor, but their marriage was starting to deteriorate. Simultaneously, he began "borrowing" thousands of dollars from Mom. A few years after this all began, my Mom "accidentally" disclosed all of this information to me and upon further investigation, I found out this had been going on for YEARS - even to the point where this man (the brother) who owned the house where his 98 year old grandmother lived - asked his grandmother to increase her rent - basically doubling it, when he was initially GIVEN the house and told that her rent would remain at $50/year for life. This just tells you who we are dealing with... So, when I discovered all of this manipulation that was going on, Mom was also diagnosed with dementia (which later was confirmed to be Alzheimer's). The brother was present when the diagnosis was given, chose not to tell anyone and I didn't find out about this until a year later when I was changing Mom's health insurance and learned she had been prescribed an Alheimer's drug - which she did not take. So, I encourage Mom to discuss the "loans" with her lawyer and also to disclose her neurodegenerative diagnoses. We met with the lawyer and she wasn't shocked about the money situation with the brother - even told Mom that she had counseled her to stop giving him money. The lawyer also removed him as back-up POA and Executor of her will. So, he somehow found out about this or at the very least, suspected it - which turned me into public enemy number one. For the next several years, he lodged a smear campaign against me - huge one - and I live thousands of miles away from him. He physically assaulted our sister (was arrested and had to agree to a pretrial diversion and cannot have contact with her for two years - mind you, Mom lives with her part year. What a mess!) Two years later after Mom was supposedly being cared for by the brother but instead she was literally failing at life living on her own, she was extracted from the situation and moved in with my sister. A few months later, I began to pursue a co-guardianship. The brother and another sibling decided to contest it, based on the fact that they wanted to see Mom's Will, wanted assurances that her estate planning would not change, wanted to see her financial records going back two years and lastly wanted to have input on her health matters (in that order. Order of importance to them, apparently. Sad.). I refused giving access to her Will, agreed to give them a detailed accounting of her expenditures/financial records, stated that Mom can change her estate planning as long as she is competent to do so and that the ONLY way I would agree to giving access to her Will to the brother would be if he would give us a detailed accounting of all of the money he has borrowed from her and documentary evidence of if, when and how the money had been repaid (which I already have documents showing where he borrowed money - a promissory note, in his own handwriting and signed and dated by him, cancelled checks, etc.). He wouldn't agree to it. So the Judge ordered the co-Guardianship. I have had very little if any contact with the brother - other than through email to make arrangements for him to see Mom or to update the family on matters pertaining to Mom. He has physically assaulted my sister, verbally assaulted me, slandered us, at the request of my Mom, flat out REFUSED to mend fences, he has been a NIGHTMARE. And it has broken my Mom's heart

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Hey y’all. Thanks for all of the info. The reason their is a co-guardianship is because my Mom requested that when she was made aware (some years ago) that at some point a guardianship would be needed. Actually, the GAL said to me that she wanted to know my thoughts on me haveing sole guardianship and to keep some peace - I asked if we could continue use with the coguardianship. I do 90% of all care so it’s somewhat a moot point. With regards to the house, Moms home is in a depressed area. If we sold it we wouldn’t get very much. The contents are far more valuable than the structure. I’m working on a trust so we can get my father’s VA benefits. And will start figuring out a game plan of sorting and disposing of the household items in the event I do have to sell it. Mom is aware of the house. She’s not at the point that she doesn’t know she still owns it and does want to visit it when we go back to my hometown. My attorney and I agree that when she gets to the point that her memory fails her on the house then we will then begin with a sale. Love you all for your support and feedback. XO
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I had to re-read it twice,, my old eyes have trouble with long posts and the no paragraph format on this site too
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Thanks, Pam. I must have missed that; it's sometimes hard to read for these old eyes to read long paragraphs!
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She says she is co guardian with her sister.. hope that is still the case! And kick him to the curb
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Is there a logical explanation by the judge entered a co-guardianship order, with, I presume, your brother? I'm hoping I read it wrong and that it's with your sister instead of your brother.

I agree - dispose of the house and take that out of the equation.

You have my support as well. The answer is a big NO.
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No. Absolutely not!
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Not no, but HECK no!

My sister, also a chronic mooch, moved in with my mom under the guise of "helping" and made off with most of mom's savings as well as verbally and physically abusing her. I am now guardian after lengthy court proceedings.

Your mom will probably take up for him on occasion since to her he is her "baby" just like her other kids. But you and sis have to put your foot down to keep her from being further abused or taken advantage of.

I agree with selling the house to help pay for mom's care. If she has ALZ there is a chance she will eventually need more care than you alone are able to provide.
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Sell that house! Put the proceeds in a trust for your Mother's care. If he has other properties he has no need. He will be harder to evict than an Arkansas tick.

Blessings to you.
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You had me on your side in the first paragraph----it is a big NO NO!

Stay strong, don't waffle.
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Not only no, but somehow get a restraining order on him, based on past elder abuse or physical violence towards the family.
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