Mom does want the daughter to be involved in her care. Unfortunately the daughter is the only family member in the area. Apparently there is something in their past that makes mom talk down to the daughter that is only if mom wants to talk with the daughter. Often times the daughter will call her mother to see how she is doing and the mother will make a nasty remark and hang up or just hang up when she hears the daughters voice. Any suggestions on what one might do to bring the two closer together so that at least there is civil conversation going on and mom will realize that the daughter has her best interest at heart. Daughter is extremely hurt over the situation.

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Well, according to your profile, the person who is being cared for has dementia/Alzheimers. People with dementia are, by definition, not rational or reasonable people. They have lost that ability because their brain is broken. So daughter needs to watch Teepa Snow videos on Youtube to better familiarize herself with how dementia and/or Alzheimers works so that she'll understand not to take it personally.

If mom is generally agitated or angry, a conversation with the doctor is in order to see if some medications can give mom some relief from her emotional ups and downs.
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