Help! I'm lost. The ER last night said my husband needs to be hospitalized, but he left AMA. I don't know what to do. Do I let him die?

Prayers for you and your husband during this most difficult time. Praying for comfort and strength.

Just more reinforcement for hospice. My aunt "graduated" from hospice & went back to her daughter's home. Only to be readmitted several months later. Admission is based on the best prediction by the MD that the patient has less than 6 months to live. My sister-in-law's father was in hospice care & it was a comforting experience for all. And my mom had hospice during the last 2 weeks of her life. She made her wishes known to me months before when, moving to a new apartment in AL, she showed me the outfit she wanted to be buried in! I knew then that, after many medical problems, she was tired of the whole thing. She went into hospice after fracturing her hip & having complications. I guess my ramblings are to reassure you about hospice & that loved ones can help US thru THEIR transition. All the best to you.

Sweetie - you are phenomenal.
You are going through so much and it really influences clear thinking. Thank you for reaching out for others’ perspectives. It is a good step to helping yourself.
As for your husband - it seems like he has made the decision already.
How fo you have the conversation about “the next step”? Just ask him his preference, then just listen. Your hopes are probably not his desires at this point. Pain is a ruling factor and he may not express it any other way than to refuse further help. It is his life, and his decisions will affect you, but keep focused on what he wants at this time. That is probably as far forward thinking as he can manage at this time. If possible, talk with his doctor about your concerns. His doctor cannot share any of your husbands medical info with you, but he can help settle your unanswered questions of how you can help, etc. That doctor has the inside track and may be your next best resource.

Wondering how Susie is tonight?

What a horrible dilemma! I understand your angst!
I do not see a date on your post; I just logged on 01/13/2019. It is sometimes appropriate to refuse aggressive care, especially with a brief lifespan prediction. Doctors are trained to treat, regardless of a prognosis or age. My husband, 81, is a Palliative Care patient with PPO coverage. I know nothing about an HMO; however, a hospice will administer "comfort care" just as Palliative Care will. If you have not already, I encourage you to contact Home Hospice for a visit.

For anybody in this situation, if the person has his own right mind they has the right to refuse treatment and that's that. If you doubt this, you can have him Baker acted for psychiatric evaluation.

This post is from August

You and he need to have a serious sit down talk. It very much sounds as though he has had enough. If that is the case then if you love him you will listen to what he has to say.

The Dr saying his cancer is treatable but not curable means they can give him treatment to a point at which it will lengthen his life or put the cancer into remission but it will not go away, he will always have it and it will impact his life as it is doing, with a chance that at some point it will become untreatable and all that brings with it.

Hospice assistance is available in the home, he doesn't have to go into a specific facility as long as you and they can cope in the home with assistance available. If he is in agreement and you can get them to come and talk to you they are best equipped to give him the best standard of life available to him.

These are not decisions for you to have to struggle with alone - he needs to be open to you on his feelings. He is probably fighting to not cause you distress, but is succeeding in doing the opposite. He also may be struggling to accept his position and be one of those of us who don't want to consider paperwork as it feels like the beginning of the end - it is a pity we don't all do all necessary forms when we are fit and well, but we do tend to leave them and then they become somehow more final - hospice staff can help with helping him see what is good to put in place if he wants any wishes on his treatment taken into account.

Its hard to talk, and you have all my sympathies at such a difficult stage in your relationship, but for both your sakes you need to sit down and each say your piece and discuss.

Hugs and thoughts to you xx

The OP’s husband has already passed away. This post is 5 months old. Time for it to be locked.

It is February 2020... It's not locked :(

I am sorry for your loss.. This just showed up today from what I see...

Prayers are with you... Take care.