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See a therapist to identify and learn how to defend your boundaries.

From your profile it doesn't seem like you're living with your parents, which is good. But no one can manipulate you unless you allow it. Even if you're an only child or solo sibling it doesn't change this. Self-inflicted guilt, burnout, depression are all real for caregivers. That's why you need help from a therapist.

Your parents' bad mood is like bad breath: they can have it if they want but it doesn't mean you have to stick around and breath it in. Boundaries.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Your profile says that your mother is 87, lives in independent living, and is “manipulative and controlling”. You want a “way to extricate myself” for your mental health. It’s possible that independent living is getting to be too hard for her, and for your father. As a result they want more help, company, assistance etc from you, and feel that they are "entitled" to take over your life and free time.

If you think this might be at least a part of what is happening, perhaps you could take them to visit a nice Assisted Living place, which could meet their needs better at this point.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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