My mother is 87 yo / CAD, ten stents, diagnosed w MCI in May. Supportive family. Had a cath done in May-90% complete blockages in three main arteries. Docs say there is nothing more they can do. She’s fatigued, has had several episodes of profuse sweating, chest discomfort , etc. Her short term memory is getting worse. My sister and I wanted to set up a meeting to speak with a Hospice nurse to gain more information on the process of palliative care. I mentioned to my mother we arranged a meeting with hospice and she was livid. She said she didn’t want to have anyone talking about that. She did not want to be a part of that discussion. She felt that we were trying to “plan her death”. I feel horrible that I’ve upset her about this but I know this discussion needs to happen. I’m not sure how to approach this issue.
I guess my questions are - with her current more frequent symptoms , will she have more episodes that are longer in duration? More frequent ? Her heart is slowing down. Do we need to tell her these things? To explain to her why she’s so tired? Etc. I asked her doc that if she keeps having these episodes, do we take her to ER? He said there is no benefit to that. But what do we do? Will these episodes last longer? Or become more frequent?
How do we get her to open up without her feeling we’re forcing end of life thoughts on her?
Any advice would be much appreciated.