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my dad is now bed ridden, incontinent, has a cathetar, colostomy, and now a feeding tube inserted on Nov 2, 2 days ago. He doesnt speak anymore, sleeps all the time, and blood pressure is falling, and temp is falling. Respiration is shallow. He almost died on the 24 of nov due to a high fever and convulsions due to becoming septic from the cathetar. I just feel death is close. If it's not asking too much, can someone who has been thru this explain to me the active dying process and what to expect, and am i right? thanks

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All I can say to that is they was going to put a feeding to in my mother who is 85 and that's what they kept saying they had to do with her. But i knew my mother well. I had to think this over very carefully because my mother never had a problem with her swallowing. But she was in ICU do to nursing home Neglect. Her throat was sore and needed just time to heal is what i thought because of the tubes down her throat for 2-3 weeks! She also has dementia. So right away they think its her age and the Demetria. Well guess what. I didn't do it the feeding tube cause I knew that would have killed her anyways. I took her home after a week more in the Hospital. I'm glade I did cause shes eating swallowing better and she could eat more now without aspirating. I don't really listen to Drs unless I think I really need to. I always use me best judgement and always did better on my own. I just go to a nutritionist and Take Sunshine herbs and vitamin's and it works for me better than some Dr. and only take Medications only is I think I really need it and I do better and my Mother. I do admit she doe's Scream and yell do to Dementia so this I know she needs to be on something for this cause I can't take the screaming and yelling drives me crazy. Then again I hate to put her on meds because it makes her worse. Because I had to try something with her like 4 different types and made her more forgetful more agitated and so to speak weak. But I know i need something for this screaming yelling. But just have not found it yet. Doctors are not god. My dad died from Medication over dose the Dr.s kept giving him to take her wouldn't listen to me he believed i the Dr's and it killed him. The Meds did. I found in his room after her passed away a bag full of Medications the Drs told him to take. It was the size of a gallon bag he had 2 of them full. They also about 3 years ago wanted to take my mothers gallbladder out and do a operation. I said No to that they kept telling me my sister it needed to come out. I took her home she never had a problem about that. Again I used my best judgement. I had to take her to the hospital that time cause she had a 24 hr virus couldn't hold food down and that's all it ended up to be was that. They said it was her gallbladder. But funny how she never had any problem with that after I took her home. It's been 3 years she fine with that.
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Everyone's death is different. The only one I was present for happened to a lady who was eating less and less. She was sitting in an armchair, and dozing. The next time I looked at her, she had stopped breathing.

It sounds like your father is slowing down, and will just stop, without much drama. I hope that's how it goes. People often die while the loved one waiting has just left the room. Don't feel bad if that happens to you. He is mostly "on the other side" already.

It's so hard to lose them, but it can be a relief to know that they are safe and out of pain.
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It sounds like you are right. I urge you to consider hospice care; it can be a great comfort for the patient and caregiver alike.
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Check this out Laura
http://www.hospicefoundation.org/beforedeath
And do an internet search on the dying process. If your Dad isn't on hospice already, you might ask the doctor to write a script for an evaluation for hospice, they do a wonderfule job of taking you through all of this.
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