My mother was in hospice and I watched her take her last breath and she was peacefully gone. They should not be in any pain, they can be made comfortable with medication.
My son was with his mother at the end. He was trying to give her a little sense of Christmas so was putting up a tree in the corner when he heard her take a breath and sigh. No different than so many others. When he realized that he wasn't hearing any more breathing he went to check and found that she was gone. No cries of pain, no moans, no thrashing. Just there one moment and gone the next.
A heart stopping is not the same as a heart attack, as the above stories can reassure you. Heart attack is when there is suddenly no blood flow to a bit of heart tissue and THAT does hurt. My mom had some angina soon before she passed, and I was very grateful for the morphine which she needed as well as ntri - they had her on the max nitro she could take. She had evidence of silent heart attacks as many diabetic folks do before that, but then as things progressed she did actually have chest pain...I hated that for her. Once mom's last episode of pain was medicated, she settled down and I don't thik really suffered any more after that; her breathing changed and I slowly realized she was passing and just stayed with her and held her hand until...
Bottom line, is most people will pass on without much pain in these situations, but if they are the execption like my mom, having someone availble to give medication will help them through it.
I was with my Dad when he passed. For hours leading up to his death he kept greeting various family members that had passed before him. Verbally - out loud - for me and family to hear! It was really incredible and I feel blessed to have experienced this with him. One by one he called out different members names starting with his mother. When he saw her he said Mother! and then he clarified MY mother! with emphasis on the My. For awhile he lay quiet - looking off to the side - and his eyes kept moving side to side. It looked to me like he was seeing his life play out before his eyes. Sometimes he would smile, other times he would look sad. Then he yelled out my brother's name. My brother died of suicide and before the suicide he had had a fight with my father. My father internalized the loss of his only son. After saying my brother's name he was quiet again for awhile then he quietly said "I'm sorry" A few minutes later his face lit up and he called out Jesus! Jesus Christ! He smiled, took a few more breaths, and died. I felt like I was watching a movie - it was all quite surreal. Everything I always "heard" would happen to us at the time of death - happened with my father and I was blessed to be a witness. I have always struggled with issues of faith, but experiencing this with Dad gave me great comfort. I pray that when it comes time for mom to go be with Dad it can be as peaceful of an experience.
The heart stopping at the end of life is very different from having a heart attack. There is not pain caused by death but if the person is already in pain the end can be distressing but even then at the final minute there is a great sense of peace. . it is very good to have hospice involved at the end of life because they know how much pain medication may be needed and will make sure the dr prescribes enough. they may not need to use the full amount but it will be available. the nurses are not trying to hasten death but to keep the patient pain free. loved ones often open their eyes and may say a few words right before they die and if they do that there is no sense of panic just a looking forward as though they see diseaced loved ones comming to help them pass. in fact for several days before they pass your loved one may say they have seen and talked to loved ones who have already passed. Death is nothing to fear anymore than than birth. There may be anxiety about the unknown especially for the bystanders but the person going through it accepts what is happening. Someone facing death at the hand of another of course will be fearful but that is different.
How sweet you are! God bless you as you travel this road with your loved one. My dad passed away in February of last year. He was cared for very well, and he felt no pain. It is quite different than a heart attack, so please do not worry. As a matter of fact, he squeezed my hand when I said I wondered if I should leave, so he could hear my voice. I got to say goodbye as I held him, so do say loving things to your loved one.
Dad had a death rattle. We suspected the end was near so we were taking turns sitting with him. It was my turn and I was just talking to him and playing hymns softly on the CD player. He sighed a little louder than previously. After a minute of not hearing any other breathing, I called the nurse (he was in a nursing home and they had moved him to a private room) and she verified death. They took care of everything else while I called the relatives. It was in the wee hours of the morning and I was glad to have the nurses and aides nearby, but not hovering. It wasn't scary at all, and Dad didn't seem to be in any pain.
I know you are scared if not for yourself, then for your loved one. I have watched three people die slowly and there did not appear to be pain. My father had a cancerous tumor crushing his renal artery. He never even asked for any pain meds until the last three days of his life. Hospice gave me morphine to give to him with an eyedropper. I gave it to him whenever he moaned. At the end he appeared to just go to sleep as did the others. There was no crying or screaming at all. Just peaceful! We have a friend who on the day he died, told others that he saw the angels who were coming to take him to Heaven! He actually said that! That really sounds good to me!
Many times I've seen people pass peacefully, it's like they close their eyes and sleep forever. If you are concerned about the dying process contact your local Hospice, they have excellent brochures and staff that can explain this process. My grandma was very ill at the end an in the hospital, I told her she had a long, good life and I know she was tired, she can close her eyes and let go-it was ok. She died peacefully; her heart and breathing stopped. It didn't appear she felt any pain or discomfort at the time of her death. Death can be scary for some people, but it's the progression of life. Speaking with someone who is knowledgeable till help.
Hi Smithy1968, You sound as if you are concerned that someone you love will feel pain upon death. Generally, the organs shut down gradually since death under the circumstance I assume you are watching is gradual.
Both of my parents were on hospice care for months and were kept comfortable during that time. When they died, they died peacefully. No pain.
I was holding my dad when he died and I felt the release of what I would term his spirit, but no struggle or pain.
Mom's heart took a long time to stop even though her limbs were mottling and she was showing signs of other organs shutting down. When her heart stopped it was simply one more peaceful step.
I don't think you'll have to worry about the heart attack pain. This is different.
Death should only be painful if there's a medical reason for there to be pain. My mom basically just went to sleep and never woke up. My father in law was in the hospital for over a week and slowly just faded out over that time. We were with him and didn't realize that he'd passed for a few minutes.
Many old people die in their sleep, unwitnessed. Many have their family or professional caregivers with them, as they 'breathe their last'. I've never heard that death is necessarily painful. A heart attack is certainly uncomfortable/causes pain, because the circulation is cut off to part of the heart muscle and that's where the pain originates. But when the heart is slowing down over time and the rest of the body is slowing down, including breathing and circulation, is doesn't seem like it would be painful. Losing consciousness can occur from the breathing slowing down, which seems like a 'natural' remedy for whatever pain there might be. However, even if there is pain, it's not going to last, if death is the ultimate result. Try to make peace with that thought.
My mom was on hospice and I can honestly say her death was so peaceful and calm, no struggling, moaning , wincing, just took her last breath and it was over.
My grandfather on the other hand, was hanging some clothes on the line. felt funny. took down a rug and laid on it and never got up. that was always peaceful to me.
my father was in hospice. i laid with him for hours. i dont think he even knew what was going on. i talked to him and he would moan, so maybe he did..
I have heard that having a heart attack is a crushing weight in the chest. My grandfather went to sleep one night & never woke up. But I do not know what he felt when he died.
Try to remember death is a release, an end to pain, a time of well deserved rest.
Bottom line, is most people will pass on without much pain in these situations, but if they are the execption like my mom, having someone availble to give medication will help them through it.
You sound as if you are concerned that someone you love will feel pain upon death. Generally, the organs shut down gradually since death under the circumstance I assume you are watching is gradual.
Both of my parents were on hospice care for months and were kept comfortable during that time. When they died, they died peacefully. No pain.
I was holding my dad when he died and I felt the release of what I would term his spirit, but no struggle or pain.
Mom's heart took a long time to stop even though her limbs were mottling and she was showing signs of other organs shutting down. When her heart stopped it was simply one more peaceful step.
I don't think you'll have to worry about the heart attack pain. This is different.
Take care,
Carol
I've never heard that death is necessarily painful. A heart attack is certainly uncomfortable/causes pain, because the circulation is cut off to part of the heart muscle and that's where the pain originates. But when the heart is slowing down over time and the rest of the body is slowing down, including breathing and circulation, is doesn't seem like it would be painful. Losing consciousness can occur from the breathing slowing down, which seems like a 'natural' remedy for whatever pain there might be. However, even if there is pain, it's not going to last, if death is the ultimate result. Try to make peace with that thought.
my father was in hospice. i laid with him for hours. i dont think he even knew what was going on. i talked to him and he would moan, so maybe he did..