My dad passed away in 7/27/2020 of Covid-19. He was admitted into hospital on 6/24 because a car accident, he had no injuries but was disoriented so he was admitted. He tested positive and never released. He got worse each day as he was kept in quarantine and not moved as in walked. He declined quickly and next thing I know he is being put on ventilator, I was able to face time with him before that. He was on ventilator for 3 days and then able to be stable on nasal oxygen. A couple of days later I’m being told he is not doing well and is needing too much oxygen to keep this routine going. I feel I was tricked into putting him in palliative care assuring me he would still be cared for but in fact he was just being left alone to die. On 7/25 when I was allowed to finally visit, he held my hand tightly and pulled himself up as to notion “let’s go”. I cried and prayed and talked and caressed his face. He tried talking to me but I was unable to make out his words. Two days later, he passed away.
I can’t help but think that if I would have insisted on more time for his lungs to heal he could have recovered. He had no underlying conditions, not over weight, his kidneys and heart were doing good. Why would they encourage me to let him go?!!!

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Hi Minnie 001
Im sorry for your loss
You did nothing wrong.
Its a terrible virus. I lost my dad to the same on May 18
We had hope that he would recover but he didn’t.
It was so good that you were able to visit him . Sometimes things happen that way for a reason. Possibly to spare us the pain of watching our family member suffer.
You have no guilt, your dad knew you loved him . You had no control over the events that elapsed.
A bereavement group can help you heal.
please take care
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For what's it's worth you did everything right.

Stay strong.
Helpful Answer (1)

Dear "Minnie001,"

I'm so sorry that your dad passed away in the manner that he did. The whole thing sounds like a shock.

Because of such a quick and unexpected outcome, you have so many questions and yet there are no answers that would bring you what you are seeking. Maybe there is a grief support group or counselor you could share your feelings of guilt with.

I'm so glad you were given the opportunity to visit him in person before he passed away and I'm sure your dad was equally thankful to have shared some of his final moments with you.

I will be praying that God would comfort you as you continue with the grieving process. May you find your peace and solace in Him.
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Mindie, I am so sorry for your loss.

I pray that you find peace and strength during this difficult time. May God grant you grieving mercies and comfort.
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You made the best decision. I think his lungs were not doing OK. Once on a ventilator most people do not ever get off of them. That is the sad truth. The vents are not even to get through the "white out" this virus does on the lungs.
You made the best decision you could. Try to substitute the word grief for guilt. You are not a felon. You did the best you could and there are so many now doing just that. I am so very sorry for this awful loss and grief.
Helpful Answer (2)
XenaJada Aug 2020
U r correct about the ventilator
I’m sorry for your loss. Covid has overwhelmed the health of so many. This wasn’t your fault. I’m sure your father knew your love and hope you’ll find peace and comfort
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