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Mom is 78 and I am the only one who cares for her. Mom has had 3 accidents (falling) and 2 of them required surgery (hip and spine). Before each accident, I was working with mom to pursue dentures which would involve extracting what remaining teeth she had (maybe 8). She is so tired, and seems to be losing will to keep going. The loss of teeth have also had a lot to do with her not smiling and eating her favorites like nuts and other snacks. I am afraid the limitations she will face to recuperate may set her back even more. I want her to smile again. This breaks my heart. She also has a hard time hearing and nods yes to almost everything without realizing what she is agreeing to. This is something I wanted to address because it could also be dangerous not hearing what goes on around her. When I brought this up, she insists I am trying to make her "brand new" again. I just want her to be comfortable not brand new. It hurts to hear her say things like that. I know it may be her reaction due to her dementia. I want you to know I would take all the pain she endures and give her my good parts so she wouldn't hurt anymore. Back, hip, hands,etc.... I would give my life for her.

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First I want to ask about the falls... have they discovered the cause? People don't fall so often seriously enough to cause such damage without an underlying condition, even older people. Have they addressed her diagnosis and prognosis?
My mom has had full uppers most of her life, in the old days before braces it guaranteed a perfect smile :( She neglected her lower teeth in the last 20 years because she figured she wouldn't live long enough for them to be a problem, but unfortunately due to neglect she had to have most of them pulled when she was around 90. They left 4 front teeth to attach a partial lower, much more stable than a full lower. We found a wonderful dentist who did both the extractions and partial who had experience working in nursing homes and understood the frailty of older adults. We only needed one adjustment in fit, and mom is still able to enjoy her favourite crunchy foods like crackers, nuts and pickles. Of course now that she has developed dysphagia I need to watch what she eats carefully, but it is nice that she is able to find pleasure still in some of her favourite foods.
Her hearing is a huge quality of life issue, I'm certain that when we lose sight and hearing we start to lose our connection with the world. Encourage her to at least have a hearing test and listen to their recommendations. Unfortunately lots of folks are resistant to the idea of hearing aids, but your mom is not yet 80, she may have many more years left.
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Getting dentures isn't easy. Fitting doesn't go as easy as 1,2,3 and you're done. My husband had dentures, and he had probably 20 trips to the dentist before he could wear them without pain. Your mother may not be able to eat nuts, but if she can eat without pain, she may be better off without the dentures as long as she is getting decent nutrition.
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I struggle with question about dentures with my mom, and she's 91! I'd be more concerned about her hearing. What does her entire say about that? Have her ears been checked for wax?

Has your mom been evaluated for depression? The fact that she's not s sing getting new teeth as a positive, but you fussing at her makes me suspect she might be depressed. Getting THAT attended to could be a real game changer.
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