My FIL went in to hospital about a month ago is finally home. We knew he would be basically bed bound when he got home, husband works full time, we have a 1 year old, and a teenager. We asked her to line up private care and she won’t. She is saying she can’t afford it, but she’s a multi millionaire owns several homes and they’re all payed off. She just built a huge house by a river for us all to vacation in the summers, She is living there full time with FIL. She expects us to come live there with her and care for him with her. She says FIL will only listen to his son and no one else. My husband has been sleeping there but I think it’s hard on my teenager and I’m trying to make life normal for her.
She gets some assistance from nurses for a few hours a week but I feel she needs more. He fell yesterday, and she is threatening not to feed him or change him if he doesn’t get up or do what she wants. He is embarrassed for me to change his diaper and doesn’t want me to see. She said she doesn’t want to pay someone to just sit with him, and she doesn’t need help. She told us that if we don’t come help he’ll just have to live in bed all day.
We love him very much, and we want to spend time visiting with him. Caring for him is stressful for him and us and I know she can afford the help. A few years ago she spent upwards of 15,000 doing quack holistic cancer therapy for him and hired two people to help me make juice and give him enemas around the clock. Now she won’t hire anyone when he really needs it. I’m so frustrated I want to keep boundaries and hold our ground so she’ll hire help but I’m afraid he’ll get hurt or suffer in the meantime. She keeps playing manipulative games saying she’ll hire someone, but then saying she’s afraid they’ll steal or she only wants someone 2 hours a day, and to do very specific things. She asked me to help her find a WiFi camera so she can leave the house and watch him while she’s out. We told her she can not leave him alone. I know it will kill her to stay with him and she’ll eventually get burned out and hire someone, but I’m afraid she’ll cause so much drama and punish us all in the meantime. Just need to vent thanks guys.