I work as a private geriatric care manager who is hired for the client by the client and his family in this case. This client has undiagnosed Nacissistic Personality Disorder. He gets so angry and paranoid if not calling all the shots for his wife too. I arrived to take her to a scheduled diagnostic test and doctor appointment. He was at home with his new (6th) in-home caregiver. He started yelling at me after I arrived saying I treated him awful and I was going to cause him a divorce. I told his wife I would wait for her in the car. After leaving the doctor 2 hours later, we went ot get some lunch and she called him at home. The caregiver called me and reported how his anger was escalating and his wife was saying to him "what do you want me to do" repeatedly. We got our food to go and I ttok her on home. 2 weeks later when a family member calls and asks me to call APS because someone reported the client has been suicidal awhile back and they wanted to talk to me. APS asked me the basis of our relationship and indicated that it had been reported that there is some disagreement between us at times. Being a healthcare worker, I figured that he was the one who called APS and must have claimed to be suicidal because of how I was treating him. The next day I called and asked if I could come by. When I told him about having a call from APS he said he was so upset becasue we were arguing and that he doesn't know what he said but that he gave them lots of names including... to talk to. Apparently to verify his report. The APS rep came over during that visit. She said she saw he was in good hands indicating me, his wife and caregiver and the wife said yes had had lots of great help and would close his case. I asked him what APS had done for him and did someone come right over. He said yes they did. I said that I was sorry he had felt "so bad". His wife did not hear him tell me he had made the call. When she let me out the door she said "I don't know who could have called do you?" She did not really expect an answer. Her comment showed me how she will always protect herself by protecting him. I know for sure she knows he placed the accusing call. Any feedback on how to handle this from here. I am going to get them information on community resources to get the services I have either provided or overseen. They are both in a good stable condition at home with a cargiver part-time at 24 hours a week, which is plenty for their needs. Thank you.

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I imagine that this is an occupational hazard for your position, especially when you work with mentally imbalanced people, or people with dementia. I think that you just need to take it in stride. APS found no wrong-doing. No harm done.

My husband went through a phase of his dementia where he repeatedly accused me of stealing and of holding him hostage and other crazy things. He didn't know enough to call APS but he did call or try to call the sherif's office more than once. If you browse long on these boards you will see many cases of false accusations, usually against loved ones.

I can understand removing yourself from this situation. If you are going to continue in this profession, something like this may come up again. NOT because you are not doing a wonderful job and handling the case professionally, but because the job puts you in contact with people who are not mentally well and who may be paranoid.

I hope you have some grateful, pleasant clients to balance this case.
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