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Been trying to cope with mom going in hospital and having surgery. Blocked colon. She was in hospital for over a week. Just transferred to nursing home for rehab. More stress cause of brother about where she got sent for rehab etc. She is too weak for rehab right now and occasionally disoriented. She is also an hour away from me. If husband drives. An hour and a half to two hours if I drive. I only drive residential streets.
How do I continue to cope? Took bubble bath last night but was so sound up it didn't help a lot. Need more emotional reserves.


Barbara

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Barbara, i think you should get yourself to your pcp and tell her/him how you're feeling. You may be anemic, have low Vitamin B12, thyroid issues, etc. You also need to see a psychiatrist for a workup of your anxiety and depression and a recalibrating of your meds for those conditions. And back to therapy, at least in the short run.
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I also agree with the above. I truly understand how it's easier to say than do when it comes to not stressing out about a loved one you are caring for. None of us can do it all. Do the best you can and know at the end of the day you did what you could. I still feel like I should do more. Logically, I know I can't be everything to everyone. All any of us can do is make sure our loved ones are safe, free from pain (as much as possible), and they know they are loved. Some days are easier than others. Today was a pretty tough one, but I'm hoping and praying tomorrow will be better. And in there. You are not alone and sometimes just knowing that helps tremendously. The people that post on this forum have been wonderful.
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I don't think anyone is quite understanding what I ment. I shouldn't have mentioned the long drive to see mom. Or the difficulty with brother.

Right now I'm not focused much on whats to come. Somewhat, but not completely. I just need energy to cope. Have very little in me. Emotional energy mostly. Though I don't seem to have a lot of physical energy eighter.

Barbara
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Totally agree with the above, Babalou beat me to it. You must find a way to accept that you cannot control the outcome for your mom or your brother. And I hope you find a counselor soon that you can see in person and help you be accountable to yourself. I can imagine your mind is racing with how to fix it and what if scenarios.

Slow down and take the suggestions above to talk to and coordinate with those caring for her. You can't possibly do it all, none of us can. Please, stop. Take some deep breaths. There is no quick fix that will happen fast enough to quell your anxiousness. Somehow you must learn to tolerate your anxiety while going through and learn not to jump! Seek the support you have and formulate a plan of which you are not the only one leading the charge. You are no good to anyone if you are a nervous trainwreck. Don't mean to be harsh but I know all too well the many costs that come with unchecked and uncontrolled anxiety. You'll be in my prayers sweetheart.
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Did you look up the serenity prayer?

None of this is under your control. Getting upset doesn't help mom
Get updates on her and be in contact with the social worker about whether mom can go back to living without significant support.
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You cope by just calling each day and asking her nurse for an update. She is probably still on some hefty antibiotics and painkillers. Be patient.
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